Month: November 2019

Home / Month: November 2019

A small, small galaxy not so far, far away is about to vanish. Legoland California Resort recently announced plans to close its miniature re-creation of “Star Wars” films after an eight-year run. No word yet on what will go up in its place, but a new Lego Movie World with rides is planned to open in spring.

Star Wars Miniland, made from 1.5 million Legos, on Jan. 6 will bid farewell to the Carlsbad, Calif., park.

The attraction features scenes from each of the seven films, built in 1:20 scale, with input on designs and figures from Lucasfilm Ltd., according to a news release. Eight planets in the galaxy are on display, including Tatooine, where Luke and Obi-Wan Kenobi meet Han Solo and Chewbacca in the Cantina; and Kashyyk, home planet of Chewbacca and the Wookiees that comes under attack.

Legoland’s move comes as “Star Wars” seems more popular than ever. Disneyland opened its Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge land over the summer; Disney Plus is streaming “The Mandalorian,” a new “Star Wars” TV series; and “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker,” a new feature film in the franchise, will hit U.S. theaters Dec. 20.

But Legoland will turn to its own characters from “The Lego Movie” and “The Lego Movie 2″ for its newest theme world. It will feature a drop tower ride named for Princess Unikitty and a “triple-decker flying couch” ride called Emmet’s Flying Adventure.

Info: Legoland California Resort


Feeling lucky? Qantas Airways is offering $100 one-way airfares between Los Angeles and Sydney or Melbourne starting at 2 p.m. Pacific time Nov. 18. The catch: There are only 100 tickets offered at that price, so you have to act quickly.

To get the deal, travelers must buy round-trip coach tickets from L.A. You can reserve starting at 2 p.m. at the airline’s birthday sale website. Travel dates are limited to Feb. 23 and 24, and March 1, 2 and 8. The sale ends when the 100 tickets sell out.

If you miss out, the airline also is offering round-trip fares from L.A. starting at $699 in coach seats between Nov. 18 and Nov. 26 for travel between Jan. 27 and April 8. Premium economy, business and first-class seats also are on sale.

Qantas plans the same promotion for the next three days, featuring a different city each day. San Francisco, Dallas/Fort Worth and Chicago will be up next. Sale starts each day at 2 p.m. Pacific time.

The airline began its 100th year on Saturday. What was called Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services Ltd. (QANTAS) was created Nov. 16, 1920, by World War I veterans Hudson Fysh and Paul McGinness. By 1922, the airline had flown its first scheduled mail and passenger flights, according to the carrier’s website. Soon, “flying doctor” service went into operation to help people in Australia’s far-flung areas.

Today Qantas operates more than 40 direct flights a week between Australia and the U.S.

Info: Qantas 100th Birthday Year Sale


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Qantas Airways’ $100 ticket sale Monday for flights between Los Angeles and Australia overwhelmed the airline’s website, leaving many travelers staring at an error page rather than the booking site. The airline apologized for the tech glitch during the sale that kicked off events planned to mark its 100th year of operations.

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Despite the problems, the airline will move forward with a second sale Tuesday, this time for airfares from San Francisco to Melbourne or Brisbane. You can reserve starting at 2 p.m. Pacific time at the airline’s 100th Birthday Year Sale. Travel dates are limited to Feb. 24 and 26, and March 2, 4 and 9 for Melbourne, and Feb. 16 and 23, and March 1, 8 and 15 for Brisbane. The sale ends when round-trip tickets — 50 to Melbourne, 50 to Brisbane — sell out.

The airline also plans to offer the same deal (on separate days) for airfares from Dallas/Fort Worth and Chicago.

The first day’s offer got off to a rocky start. Fifteen minutes after the 2 p.m. Monday sale began, Qantas posted this on social media: “We know the site is slow (and we’re working on it) but we still have fares available for $100 each way to Australia when purchased as a round trip. Keep on trying.”

At 4 p.m., Qantas announced the 100 super-discounted tickets had sold out. “We’re sorry if you experienced issues with the website,” the airline said.

For those who missed out, the airline is offering round-trip fares from L.A. starting at $699, a price that’s been matched by Delta and some third-party retailers, according to a Kayak.com search.

The airline, founded in 1920, was called Queensland and Northern Territory Aerial Services Ltd. (QANTAS) and flew its first scheduled mail and passenger flights in 1922, according to the carrier’s website.


Part of the fun of family travel is the unexpected place that both parents and kids enjoy. Maybe a winery isn’t top of mind, but maybe it should be. Here are four California wineries that all generations can enjoy.

Santa Ynez

Vincent Vineyards goes the extra mile for kids and dogs. There’s a play area with board games and coloring books, and furry family members get biscuits and water.

Guests may bring their own food for picnicking, and small bites are offered daily, including pretzels with mustard and robust charcuterie and smoked salmon platters. Local chocolates and coffees are also available for purchase, along with nonalcoholic sparkling grape sodas for all ages.

Cost, info: Tastings from $18. Open noon to 5 p.m. daily; vincentvineyards.com

Carmel

Folktale Winery, with French château-style architecture and surrounding gardens, is kid and dog (on leash) friendly. You’ll find plenty of space for the kids to run around and inviting areas where adults can lounge.

On weekends, expect live music and lawn games. No outside food is allowed at this 100% organically farmed vineyard, but the kitchen is open daily and serves flatbreads, salads and charcuterie.

Cost, info: Optional 60- to 90-minute walking tours cost $40 a person (includes a tasting flight) with reservations; check website for kitchen hours and events; folktalewinery.com

Temecula

Besides the wines and the vines, a petting zoo is the star attraction at Longshadow Ranch Winery and Vineyards in southwestern Riverside County, where you can get an authentic taste of the Old West. Kids can interact with goats, an alpaca, sheep and horses. Food is not offered, but guests are encouraged to bring their own and picnic at one of the many tables on the property.

Cost, info: Wine flight tastings cost $18. Pets not allowed. Check website for hours; longshadowranchwinery.com

Paso Robles

Spend an afternoon at Eberle Winery playing boccie ball (Italian lawn bowling) and dining on the expansive deck with views of the vineyards and Santa Lucia Mountains. Outside food is allowed; grab-and-go items are available for purchase.)

There are also complimentary tastings and cave tours daily on the half-hour (for kids and grownups), along with food trucks and live music on some weekends. Dogs on leash are also welcome.

Cost, info: Private and group tastings available from $15 a person plus tax; free cave tours from 10:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.; check website for live music schedule; eberlewinery.com


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WeWork said it will begin job cuts “in earnest” this week in the U.S., a bid by the struggling office-sharing startup to stabilize its business amid staggering losses.

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Executive Chairman Marcelo Claure told staff in an email Monday that the process, which will involve eliminating and scaling back some functions and responsibilities, “will make us stronger and better able to generate even more opportunities over the coming months and years.”

Soon after withdrawing its registration for an initial public offering in September, WeWork told staff to brace for extensive job cuts. People familiar with the matter have said they could total about 2,000 or some 16% of the global workforce. Some of those cuts have already begun.

Claure said he plans to brief staff about the company’s future on Friday, when he’s expected to tease a five-year plan for WeWork, whose parent company is We Co.

A WeWork spokeswoman declined to comment on the job cuts.

After the company’s valuation plummeted from $47 billion to about $8 billion, WeWork is seeking to cut costs and show a path to profitability in order to potentially attempt an IPO again next year. That path, as outlined by the company’s co-chief executive officers, includes selling assets and cutting jobs. The company reported a net loss of $1.25 billion in the third quarter, eclipsing its sales and more than doubling its loss from the same period last year.

WeWork employees are accustomed to routine firings, unlike at the typical startup in growth mode. The nine-year-old company periodically trimmed the ranks, WeWork has said, to shed underperformers. It dismissed hundreds of employees in 2016 and held a staff meeting to discuss the move that concluded with a performance from a member of the hip-hop group Run-DMC. WeWork fired about 300 more people this spring.

As WeWork’s employees brace for jobs cuts, they have started to organize. Two weeks ago, a group of employees presented management with a letter asking for changes such as salary transparency, more employee involvement in management decisions and an end to forced arbitration. The same group also asked for fair treatment for WeWork’s cleaning staff, whose in-house jobs are being cut and who are being rehired by an outside contracting firm.


Chick-fil-A Inc. said its philanthropic arm will not donate next year to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes or the Salvation Army — which espouse or have been linked to anti-LGBTQ stances — as the chain of chicken restaurants continues to face public pressure about its charitable giving.

The Atlanta company said Monday that it will focus its philanthropic efforts on organizations that work on education, homelessness and hunger issues. As part of this new plan, the Chick-fil-A Foundation said it will donate a total of $9 million next year to local food banks, youth financial literacy group Junior Achievement USA and Covenant House International, which helps provide housing and services to young people without homes.

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The chain has been working to shed its image as an opponent of LGBTQ rights, and this year the debut of a rival chicken sandwich from Popeyes offered Chick-fil-A’s customers a wildly popular alternative.

In 2012, Dan Cathy — who was then the company president — kicked a hornet’s nest by saying in an interview that Chick-fil-A was “very much supportive of” the “biblical definition of the family unit.” Cathy is the founder’s son and now serves as chief executive.

“We don’t claim to be a Christian business,” Cathy told Baptist Press at the time. “But as an organization we can operate on biblical principles.”

His remarks sparked an immediate backlash. Protesters gathered at Chick-fil-A restaurants, politicians denounced the chain, and Jim Henson Co. pulled out of a deal to make toys for its kids’ meals. Shortly after, Chick-fil-A said it would no longer donate money to anti-LGBTQ groups.

But it continued to donate to such charities as the Salvation Army, a Christian-aligned group that in the past has said people attracted to members of the same sex should remain celibate.

In 2012, a Salvation Army spokesman told Australian journalists that part of the organization’s belief system was that LGBTQ people deserve death. (The larger group said he’d misinterpreted its guidance.) The previous year, a gay rights activist told the New York Times that two decades earlier, when he and his boyfriend were homeless, the Salvation Army had refused to shelter them unless they broke up and attended church services.

The Salvation Army said in a statement Monday that it was “saddened” by Chick-fil-A’s decision to halt its donations, adding that its own focus on education, homelessness and hunger is in line with the foundation’s stated initiatives.

The charity also said it believes it is the largest provider of poverty relief to “the LGBTQ+ population.”

The Fellowship of Christian Athletes did not respond Monday to a request for comment. On its website, it says it believes marriage is “exclusively the union of one man and one woman.”

Chick-fil-A left open the possibility of resuming its contributions to the Salvation Army and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes in the future. Its foundation said Monday that it will evaluate its donations on a yearly basis.

President Tim Tassopoulos said in a statement that no organization would be excluded from future consideration. Chick-fil-A did not respond to follow-up questions about whether it has ruled out future donations to groups that have track records of anti-LGBTQ stances.

LGBTQ advocacy organization GLAAD said investors, employees and customers could greet Monday’s news with “cautious optimism” because Chick-fil-A has made similar pledges in the past that “were previously proven to be empty.” It did not respond to a follow-up question about whether it has any concerns about next year’s announced recipients, Junior Achievement and Covenant House.

The controversy has had business implications for the fast-food chain. This year, concessions operator Delaware North decided against adding a Chick-fil-A restaurant to the Buffalo Niagara International Airport in New York state after protests led by a local assemblyman.

On Monday, Delaware North said that although it applauded Chick-fil-A’s announcement, the move to nix the airport Chick-fil-A was a business decision that it is not reconsidering.


Blanchard Pinto, a supervisor on Proterra’s electric bus assembly line in City of Industry, had never considered joining a union in his nine years with the company.

That changed on the day before Halloween, when his bosses invited him and his co-workers to a meeting with the United Steelworkers Local 675.

Pinto was wary at first. In his experience working for other companies, management usually tried to avert unionization at all costs. On top of that, the majority of Local 675’s existing members work at oil refineries across L.A. — not exactly natural allies for Proterra, whose business model requires public transit agencies across the country to ditch fossil fuels for greener battery-powered vehicles.

But Steelworkers reps convinced him they understood the need to move to a carbon-neutral economy and were serious about helping their oil industry members survive the transition. And Proterra’s leadership seemed surprisingly amenable to the union drive.

Two weeks later, on Nov. 12, Pinto and his co-workers at the L.A. plant voted overwhelmingly to join the Steelworkers. “This is my first time being in a union, and I’m actually excited about it,” Pinto says. “It was a no-brainer for me that it was something we could use for the job stability.”

That same day, Silicon Valley-based, venture capital-backed Proterra voluntarily recognized the union and pledged to sign a “community benefits agreement,” which would commit the company to working with local nonprofits to hire and train workers from disadvantaged backgrounds.

The City of Industry plant, with 61 workers, represents just a fraction of Proterra’s overall workforce: Including nonunion office workers, the company has 126 employees in L.A. County, plus a larger plant in Greenville, S.C., and a head office in Burlingame. But with California’s ambitious goals for reaching carbon neutrality and L.A. Department of Transportation’s plan to have a fully electric fleet by 2030, it’s poised to grow.

An organized labor force is new territory for Proterra Chief Executive Ryan Popple, too.

Popple joined the company in 2014 after working as an early executive in the finance department at Tesla — whose head, Elon Musk, has taken an antiunion stance — and as a partner at the blue-chip venture capital fund Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers. Proterra has raised $525 million since being founded in 2004, with Kleiner Perkins and other venture capital funds investing along the way.

“Because of my background, we had some hilarious conversations at first,” says Popple of meetings with labor reps. “It seemed like their assumption going in was because of Silicon Valley and VC [venture capital] and companies I’d worked for, I was a hardcore tech libertarian who believed that ultimately there will be no government and everything should work like Burning Man.”

But the looming threat of climate change, Popple says, helped focus the conversation: “If you end up with realists in labor talking to realists in tech, and our primary concern is that we have about 10 years to get something done, that creates a sense of urgency.”

Plus, Popple sees upside in having a union workforce. “Because of the position that a lot of the labor unions have taken from an environmental perspective, I found that we were more aligned than opposed,” Popple says. “If you can have environmental advocacy groups and labor advocacy groups aligned, I think you end up getting more done from a policy perspective.”

And being known as a union-friendly shop could be an edge when it comes to competing for public transit agency contracts. Those clients, which include the L.A. Transportation Department and Foothills Transit, have bought a total of 700 buses from the company, and make up almost all of Proterra’s business (though the company also sells its battery and drivetrain technology to manufacturers looking to build other types of electric vehicles).

“There’s nothing formal in procurement guidelines that allows a city to pick one manufacturer or another based on where you’re located or whether you’re unionized,” Popple says. “But there are qualitative aspects to procurement.”

In recent years, nonprofit groups in Los Angeles have pushed for community benefits agreements, like the one that Proterra agreed to sign, to be linked to government contracts.

BYD, another battery-powered bus manufacturer with a large factory in Lancaster, signed a similar agreement in 2017 when its workforce unionized under SMART, a union mostly representing sheet metal and transportation workers.

Jobs to Move America, an L.A.-based nonprofit that advocates for policies like community benefits agreements, brokered the deal with Proterra. Hector Huezo, a senior staffer at the organization, says that Proterra’s deal will look something like BYD’s, which created an apprenticeship system targeted at recruiting and training women, African Americans, formerly incarcerated people and military veterans.

“Our coalition coalesces around this idea that a company that relies on public contracts to build up their business should be accountable for creating community benefits in that process,” Huezo says.

His group and the Steelworkers approached Proterra in 2016, when it first announced plans to open its City of Industry factory, to open the relationship that ended with last week’s unionization vote.

For leaders at Local 675, who have been discussing how to advocate for their members who work at oil refineries while also working toward a future free of fossil fuels, Proterra’s entrance into the union represents a potential proof of concept for the idea that switching to a green economy doesn’t have to mean abandoning the security of carbon-based jobs in energy and transportation.

“We here at the local have been talking about a just transition for over 20 years,” says staff organizer Moises Hernandez.

“Oil’s gonna fight tooth and nail till the end — they don’t believe that they’re gonna end anytime soon — but we are looking at the future for our membership so that they have something to transition into, and organizing Proterra might be the first step.”


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A year after his arrest, Carlos Ghosn‘s strategy to exonerate himself from allegations of fraud and financial wrongdoing is becoming clearer: it’s all a conspiracy.

Out on bail, the former chairman and chief executive officer of the global alliance between Nissan Motor Co., Renault SA and Mitsubishi Motors Corp. intends to show that prosecutors, the trade ministry and the Japanese automaker colluded to arrest and charge him. They leaked “false information to the media to damage Mr. Ghosn’s reputation and impair his ability to receive a fair trial,” according to Junichiro Hironaka, Ghosn’s lead counsel.

While media attention has faded since his shock arrest last year, Ghosn’s legal battle is likely to be Japan’s biggestcorporate trial. The outcome could also influence foreigners’ perceptions about working in Japan and fuel questions about the country’s legal system, in which prosecutors have a near-perfect conviction rate.

“It has been one full year since our client was ambushed and arrested without warning at Haneda Airport,” Hironaka said in a statement. “Prosecutors have repeatedly and systematically denied Mr. Ghosn fundamental rights of due process and turned the presumption of innocence on its head.”

The prosecutor’s office and Ministry of Economy, Trade and Industry declined to comment. Nissan spokeswoman Azusa Momose said the company will take necessary steps for Ghosn to be accountable for his actions but declined to comment on the former chairman’s specific defense strategy.

Ghosn has hired more than a dozen lawyers and publicists to assert his innocence and defend his reputation. The team has been filing motions for dismissal and dealing with the media while Ghosn, 65, spends most days working in his lawyer’s office preparing for a trial that will probably start in the first half of 2020.

Hironaka says he can prove his client’s innocence. In addition to disputing the four charges against the former executive, the lawyer plans to show that prosecutors worked illegally with government officials and Nissan employees to “drum up allegations of wrongdoing” to remove Ghosn and prevent further integration between Renault and Nissan. They also tampered with and concealed evidence, his lawyers argued in a filing to the Tokyo District Court, seeking dismissal of charges.

The goal of the conspiracy was to oust Ghosn to prevent him from further integrating Nissan and Renault, which threatened the Japanese carmaker’s autonomy, according to Hironaka. Prosecutors relied heavily on some of Nissan’s employees and consultants to trample on Ghosn’s legal rights, he said. They are still investigating in order to to collect more evidence to present at trial because what they have right now isn’t enough to establish Ghosn’s guilt, the lawyer said.

Nobuo Gohara, a former prosecutor, says the defense is right to focus on how authorities decided to bring charges against Ghosn. He also says that prosecutors are still gathering evidence and because of that, the pre-trial proceedings will be dragged out.

“It’s abnormal, this whole process,” said Gohara, who isn’t involved in Ghosn’s defense. “They probably arrested Ghosn for the sake of arresting him. There’s no way they can build a case with just Nissan’s support.”

Prosecutors detained Ghosn multiple times as they handed down indictments. Ghosn has been charged with financial misconduct related to alleged underreporting of compensation. He’s also accused of aggravated breach of trust: one for transactions that allegedly transferred Ghosn’s personal investment losses to Nissan and for transactions in Saudi Arabia that benefited Ghosn; and another related to payments in Oman that allegedly moved money from a dealership into a company controlled by Ghosn in Lebanon.

The former auto executive, who spent 130 days in jail, has denied all charges. Stories about the French-Lebanese-Brazilian, one of the most recognizable foreign executives to ever work in Japan, no longer dominate nightly newscasts. Yet, the Nikkei, Asahi and other newspapers still cover developments, such as a recent report by the Yomiuri of a tax investigation into the former executive. The stories, fueled by leaks, are part of the conspiracy, Ghosn and his lawyers argue.

Although the French government has been careful not to interfere in the legal process by giving strong backing to Ghosn, behind-the-scenes political support is getting in gear. Former French President Nicolas Sarkozy met with Ghosn at the French embassy in Tokyo last month, after getting a green light from President Emmanuel Macron, Journal du Dimanche reported. Sarkozy also voiced his concerns about the Japanese legal system to prime minister Shinzo Abe, the newspaper said. A spokeswoman for Sarkozy didn’t return requests for comment.

Nissan and Greg Kelly, who worked at the automaker’s CEO office, are also defendants in the trial. In the year since Ghosn was detained at Haneda airport after landing in a private jet, the Japanese automaker has seen its own share of turmoil: Ghosn’s loyalist-turned-accuser Hiroto Saikawa was ousted as CEO, profits are at decade lows and Nissan’s relationship with top shareholder Renault was damaged.

Pretrial hearings are being held about once a month at the Tokyo District Court’s 17th Criminal Court Division. Their purpose is to narrow the scope of charges in order to streamline legal proceedings and speed up the trial. Three judges — Kenji Shimozu, Kazunori Fukushima and Kenji Matsushita — will preside over proceedings and render a verdict.

It’s likely that the pretrial process Ghosn is going through will last longer than the actual trial, said Hiroki Sasakura, a professor specializing in criminal procedure at Keio University Law School in Tokyo.

“The pretrial process involves a series of back-and-forths where the prosecutor discloses evidence to the defense, and the defense examines it and can rebut the claims,” he said. “It’s like a game of catch.”


Coty Inc. agreed to pay $600 million for a majority stake in Kylie Jenner’s cosmetics line, the latest move by a major beauty company to acquire trendy brands that appeal to a younger clientele.

The makeup and fragrance giant will have overall responsibility for the portfolio, while Jenner, part of the Kardashian clan, will lead creative efforts and communications, the companies said Monday in a statement. The deal values Kylie Cosmetics, which Jenner, 22, started in 2015 as a line of lip kits when she was still a teenager, at about $1.2 billion.

Coty shares rose 2.7% to $12.22 in New York. They had already soared 82% this year through Friday.

The biggest beauty companies have been on an acquisition spree in recent years as they hope to court younger shoppers with upstart brands. Estee Lauder Cos. bought its remaining two-thirds stake in Korean skincare company Have & Be Co. for around $1.1 billion on Monday, and Japan’s Shiseido spent $845 million to buy clean beauty brand Drunk Elephant in October.

The deal solidifies the status of Jenner as one of the youngest billionaires in the world, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, capitalizing off her family’s fame from the reality series “Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”

Jenner’s line of lip kits paired a liquid lipstick with pencil lip liner. Now the business sells a variety of items including eyebrow gel and skincare products such as face scrubs and sunscreen oil. First sold only online, her products became permanently available in stores nationwide in late 2018 through beauty retailer Ulta, which has more than 1,100 shops across the U.S.

Coty has been under pressure to turn its business around, having taken a $965-million write-down this year on brands it bought from Procter & Gamble in 2015. It’s in the first stages of a plan in which it’s seeking a sale of its professional hair and nail brands, such as Wella, Clairol and OPI. The deal with Jenner is a “key milestone” in Coty’s transformation into a more focused and agile company, Coty said in the statement.


You have to give it to Gwyneth Paltrow’s 2019 Goop Holiday Gift Guide editors. This year, they’ve come up with a surprisingly digestible list of ideas, with enough items sparking a “Hey, that’s cool” response to help you power past those “What the actual what” offerings.

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Touted as “the wellness junkie’s gift guide,” the list breaks down into sub-categories for hosts and hostesses, cooks, lovers, travelers, kids and men. There are also lower-end gifts (as in, below $100) and gifts for the person who has everything and therefore needs a “ridiculous but awesome” present or two, depending on how your hedge fund has been doing this week.

Here are some things we love and hate, plus a few things that fall in between.

Things we love

Surprisingly, there was much to love on the Goop list, even after you took out the not-quite-sleazy sexual accoutrements sprinkled throughout.

Misfits Market’s misshapen-produce delivery service, $22 a month. This is the Hallmark Christmas Movies version of a fresh fruits and veggies subscription. It’s like rescue puppies you can eat. Unattractive produce gets a second chance at love with recipients who can judge it based on how it tastes, now how it looks. Much like in Hollywood, however, even the ugly veggies are pretty decent-looking.

Brass fire extinguisher, $250. Because it’s cool, that’s why. Plus, in a pinch, it can double as a weapon.

Salami subscription, $13 a month. There’s something slightly hilarious in knowing that a friend will get a monthly salami in their mailbox and, well, they’ll think of you.

Things we hate

Have we simply been living in Los Angeles too long, and “weird” doesn’t seem all that weird anymore? Very few suggestions fueled our rage, which is a disappointment. But here are a few items that induced at least some anger.

Codi the Storytelling Robot, $125. A click through to the Pillar Learning website reveals that Codi’s been marked down 20%, probably because too many people saw the Miley Cyrus episode of “Black Mirror” and were as freaked out as we were by the notion of a storytelling robot that has “super cute outfits.” Put Netflix on pause and read the kid a stinkin’ book, for Pete’s sake.

American Heirloom walnut base cake stand, $90. When was the last time anyone used a cake stand? It’s time to stop bringing cake stands into the world, where they procreate and make even more cake stands that nobody will ever pull out of the cabinet. Eat that cake on a level playing field, people.

Dehydrated Calvisius caviar bar, from $99. There is just too big a chance of this “delicacy” accidentally being mistaken for a chocolate bar. Way too big. Nonstarter.

Things that make us go ‘hmm’

Here’s where Goop goes crazy. These are but a few of the items that at first glance sound almost cool — until their excess grosses you out.

Ember travel mug, $180. It’s a travel mug. That’s all it is. And it’s only 12 ounces. And it’s nearly $200. But it does keep your coffee warmer than a $10 insulated Contigo mug, so if “having your coffee to-go turn tepid while you’re in the throes of enjoying every sip” makes you very, very sad, perhaps this would be more cost effective than, say, medication or a therapist. Then again, it might be time to simply get over yourself and drink your coffee faster.

That Book by photographers Eszter+David, from $75,000. Think nobody wants to look at your vacation photos now? Wait until you tell them you spent $75,000 to have two people with cameras follow you around on your vacation, documenting your every move, then had a custom-made luxury album made of your adventure. Sure, “every book is its very own bespoke work of art,” the makers say, but that’s cold comfort when you have absolutely no friends left.

Lunar Rock Edition of Norman Mailer’s book “MoonFire,” meteorite included, $275,000. It’s hard to out-and-out hate anything to do with books or the moon or astronauts, but this collector’s item — only 12 available, one for each astronaut who walked on the moon! — seems dreadfully overdone. Get the book for $15.70 new on Amazon, or upgrade to $30.49 for the 50th-anniversary edition of Mailer’s story of the Apollo 11 missions. Forget the box that looks like the lunar excursion module, with a lid that looks like the lunar surface, because you’ll never use it for anything, anywhere.

And the thing that costs more than $1 million

The Journey to Nature’s Edge Expedition from Momentum Adventure, $1.3 million. It’s a dozen trips focused on endangered species, to be taken a month at a time or all at once, depending on how much paid time off you have. A better move, if you have already paid L.A. rent and still have $1.3 million to spare? Give the money to take care of endangered species instead of spending it to go look at ‘em.

We’re thinking elephants this year.