Author: GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

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Starting with the HRM Tri, it’s the company’s smallest and lightest heart-rate monitor and sports a slimmer, black band as opposed to the HRM Swim’s slightly bulkier blue belt, which kind of resembles a boxing/WWE title belt.

Garmin’s new HRM Tri

Both models store HRM data when swimming then transfer it to a connected compatible device after the swim. They can also send real-time heart rate and interval summaries when the monitor and compatible watch are out of the water.

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Featuring an adjustable strap, 20 hours of data storage and a rather impressive 10-month battery life, users will be able to analyse their heartbeat in depth through Garmin Connect or their smartphone. As always, Garmin Connect will enable users to plan, save and share their workouts online – perfect for those of you that like to show off.

Garmin’s HRM Swim, built for the pool

The HRM Swim is the thicker blue belt, which has been purpose-built for the pool, rather than the Tri which is more accustomed to open water. Why you ask? Well the HRM is denser which will stop the band from sliding down when athletes push of the pool walls.

The products come after Garmin successfully launched the Forerunner 920XT multisport watch last autumn, which we reviewed here. The company believes that their latest products offer more comprehensive data to help triathletes achieve their goal. 

Pricing is £99.99 for the HRM Tri and £79.99 for the HRM Swim from www.garmin.com.

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

As a child Ben Hooper nearly drowned in a swimming pool in Belgium. A traumatic experience like this might cause someone to fear the water, however Ben decided to embrace it instead, using his love of swimming to try and conquer an unimaginable challenge – swimming the Atlantic Ocean.

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The father of one, from London will be setting off from Dakar, Senegal on 1 November 2015 and hopes to reach Natal, Brazil in time for St David’s day on 1 March 2016.

Ben, has always been a fighter, serving as part of the British military and having died in intensive care after a premature birth that left him with collapsed lungs.

He is aiming to complete 15 – 20 miles a day, swimming freestyle for up to 12 hours a day, before sleeping overnight on a boat. He is expected to burn off between 10,000 and 12,000 calories each day.

What lies in store for Ben

The distance between Dakar and Natal is 1,736 miles. The already daunting challenge is made even more intimidating when you realise that Ben will not only be competing with currents that can reach seven knots, but waves that can reach 20 feet high and marine life including sharks and jellyfish.

“I’m taking a shark safety team with me from Key West, Florida, who have worked to protect Diana Nyadd and Chloe McCardel on their swims. This includes shark defence, shark safe chemical repellents and shark shield devices, and a pointy pole from B&Q as back up”

If Ben is successful he will go down in history as the first person to swim across an ocean in “transparently”.  This will mean that users online will be able to watch Ben’s progress online. The entire swim will be documented and verified by the Guinness Book of Records and independent organisations.

A research and exercise team will accommodate Ben on his journey. Medics will be doing tests, looking at the effects of the swim on human body endurance, as well as nutrition, hydration impact, and immune system response.

How you can master the open water

For those of you who don’t fancy swimming the Atlantic and would rather concentrate on the swim leg of your event, Ben shares his technique, which could help you to a new PB in the water.

“I’d recommend an extended reach before hand entry, good core work and lower your kick ratio to conserve for bike, increasing speed with longer reach and therefore greater pull. This will mean you’re faster with less energy expenditure.” Ben says from his training camp.

“Avoid the high elbow, hand entry by your head. Reach and stretch out, hold for one second longer and save energy. This works for me and I hope it works for you”

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Last year Ben swam a total of 2.2 million meters in preparation for this monumental task and will be consuming 7,500 calories.For more information on Ben and the swim check out the website.

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

Tri documentary wants universal appeal

May 7, 2021 | News | No Comments

An American documentary, The Triumph Project, is aiming to showcase the ups and downs triathletes face when training and competing in the sport.

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Jeff Fairbanks, who’s producing the documentary, hopes that this will inspire people to take up triathlons, trying to reassure newcomers that the sport isn’t as daunting as it can look.

Before trying triathlon he believed that the sport was un-relatable, claiming that it seemed unrealistic for people with a job and family.

“For me I’d love the viewers to relate to the featured athletes. To see an average person complete a triathlon gives access to the thought of achievability. If I can do it, you can do it, and so on.”

What’s in store

The documentary follows Jeff and athletes Rachel McBride, Dave Mirra, and Jack Toland as they each prepare for different triathlon events.

He has taken inspiration from the athletes he is working with and wanted to showcase all the hard work and dedication triathletes go through in order to accomplish their goals. 

“You don’t have to come from the same, athletic backgrounds to do this. If you’re pro then great, relate to Rachael because of her absolute dedication in training. But relate to me if you’re a working guy with less time and look at my journey.

“Jack’s a good model for young people wanting to take up endurance sports. Dave went from the top of one sport (BMX) to being a complete newbie and he’s looking at doing the Kona.”

Jeff also wants the documentary to help humanise the triathlon community to newcomers, who might be nervous about fitting in.

“When I first entered I felt like the black sheep and thought I would be an outcast,” Jeff admitted. “Things though were completely different and what made me different (my tattoos and lack of experience) helped people remember me. They would come up to me and congratulate me all the time.”

The first hard steps

Jeff took up triathlon after a friend challenged him to a marathon. The father of two struggled to get to grips with endurance sport and struggled through the marathon, eventually finishing it but feeling defeated deep down. Not wanting this to be his lasting memory of endurance sports Jeff turned his attention to triathlon, but admits the individual disciplines didn’t appeal to him.

“I never really warmed to swimming, cycling or running individually to be honest with you. I actually got quite bored in the marathon. Completing all three disciplines together though leaves me feeling very much accomplished and feel that once you’ve finished one discipline you can take on the other.”

Jeff’s competed in his first triathlon two years ago – a sprint distance in Skagit County, Washington.

His first triathlon saw him overtaken a fair bit but complete his goal and finish the triathlon. Rather than feeling defeated by endurance sports Jeff was now feeling excited about them.

“I finished that’s the main thing! There’s a lot of competition in your head when you get to the start about who you could beat but my goals would have differed massively from someone else, who might have wanted to win it.”

A trailer for The Triumph Project will be released in three weeks time and then Jeff embarks on the final cut. The documentary’s release date is expected to be December 31 2015.

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For more information about The Triumph Project check out the Facebook, Twitter and Instagram page.

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

This weekend (25-26 July) saw another fantastic venue open its gates to the sport of tri, as 2,200 competitors took part in the annual 2015 Castle Howard Triathlon.

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The Castle Series pride themselves on being newbie friendly and all levels competed from starter sprint level (200m swim, 13k bike, 2.5k run) upwards, with 500 children also taking on the challenge. Stealing the show though was 8-year-old Bailey Matthews, competing in his first-ever triathlon.

Star finisher

Bailey, from Doncaster, has cerebral palsy and was cheered over the line by hundreds of spectators after completing a 100m lake swim, 4,000m bike and 1,300m run. The emotional crowd shouted its encouragement when Bailey stepped away from his walking support to finish the last 20 metres of the race unaided – and into the proud arms of his parents Jonathan and Julie Matthews.

Going long

Longer-distance athletes had the Gauntlet to contend with. Reigning Scottish Middle and Olympic Distance Champion, Nikki Bartlett was pipped to the post by New Zealand champion and Commonwealth medalist, Sam Warriner following a gruelling 4hr 48min challenge.

Warriner led from the swim, through the bike and into the run, with Bartlett slowly closing the gap and giving away just three minutes after T2 and into the run. Bartlett chased down the leader but an extra kick from Warriner bought her in just three seconds ahead. Laura Sarkis following behind the front two to take the last place at the podium with a time of 5h25m.

In the men’s Gauntlet race, the win went to Brennan Townsend (4hr 21min) taking the lead 3k into the run and finishing ahead of Colin Hill in second place. Hill finished with a respectable time of 4h33m ahead of Matt Dewis (4.34m) in third.

Olympic games

In the Olympic distance Catherine Jameson (Team Jackpot) kept up her winning run with a comfortable win (2h25m), whilst Ian Robertson (2h16m) from Anglia-Tri took first place in the men’s race. Robertson’s partner Becky Schofield (2h40m), also from Anglia-Tri, took second place in the women’s race ahead of Lynsey Carveth (2h54m), from Royal Air Force Tri, while Robertson beat off competition from Max Hazell, also from Team Jackpot (2h17m) and James Phillips (2h20m) for the male trophy.

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

The Professional Triathlon Union was launched today, a not-for-profit global body formed entirely by pro and ex-pro triathletes in an effort to grow professional non-drafting triathlon.

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Initially formed in 2014, the Board of Directors is made up of 15 current pro triathletes and one salaried executive director, former pro Rich Allen. He is advised by numerous voluntary business analysts, legal and financial advisors and other former pros, whom the PTU say “have helped Rich build the PTU into an efficient Union model.” The Union is open to potential board members from other professional backgrounds, and will next vote on its members in 2016. You can visit the PTU’s website here. 

Allen said: “I am delighted to be involved in this exciting endeavor, which is perhaps one of the greatest developments to ever take place in our sport. 

The PTU will work to represent all members who compete in professional non-drafting triathlon worldwide, and will work alongside other global triathlon bodies to increase its support network.

Challenge Family (organisers of Challenge Roth and Challenge Barcelona) have been particularly positive about the formation, stating they will announce their recognition of the PTU in an official capacity ‘very shortly’. The ITU have also been ‘receptive’, whereas the WTC (owners of the Ironman brand) stated “they are not ready to add any additional commitment and procedure to their professional athlete infrastructure” at this moment but have given their initial support.

Danish Pro and Board member Helle Frederiksen commented: “It is an honor to be a part of such a landmark initiative. I feel as a collective group, professional triathletes can aid the global development of the sport. We will be a powerful voice and a great asset to race organisations and the sport on a whole. We must strive to be recognised in all aspects of the sport and successfully achieving this will take time, but I’m confident that long term, membership numbers, recognition, productivity and value of the Professional Triathlon Union will be high.”

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What do you think about the formation of the Professional Triathlon Union, is this a positive step for the sport? Let us know in the comments! 

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

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The Brutal Extreme Triathlon is a super-tough event that takes in Wales’ highest mountain, Snowdon. It’s renowned for it’s low-key and friendly vibe and every athlete – whether it’s their first triathlon or 21st – will feel the massive support from both the event crew and other competitors too.

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The challenging terrain and breathtaking scenery creates an awesome experience that will stay with you long after the aches and blisters have gone!

New for 2015! You no longer need mountain crew for the full iron-distance event (just the Double and Triple) Brutal Events to open the event up to those who struggle to find a support person. You can, however, take someone if you prefer the company!

The distances available are:

The Brutal Half: 1.2 mile swim/57.98 mile bike/14.7 mile run

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The Brutal Full: 2.4 mile swim/115.96 mile bike/25.1 mile run

The Brutal Double: 4.8 mile swim/231.92 mile bike/51.1 mile run

The Brutal Triple (for 2015 only): 7.2 mile swim/347.88 mile bike/75.3 mile run

You can enter all of these events as a solo or in a team (2 – 4 members).  

So why not end your season by doing something a little different this year and take on The Brutal Extreme Triathlon?!

Event Name: The Brutal Extreme Triathlons

Event Date: Saturday 19 September 2015

Event Location: Llanberis, North Wales

Distances: Half, Full, Double and Triple 

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Website: www.brutalevents.co.uk

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

The hotly-anticipated Rio 2016 triathlon test event saw Brits Non Stanford and Vicky Holland secure two automatic spots for GB after taking silver and third respectively, while Alistair Brownlee finished tenth after struggling with an ankle injury.

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As many expected, it was current WTS title holders Javier Gomez and Gwen Jorgensen who reigned supreme on Copacabana Beach yesterday (Sunday 2 August), with Gomez booking his place at a third Olympics, while Jorgensen will be racing her second.

Vincent Luis (FRA) and Richard Murray (RSA) both fulfilled their country’s requirements to line up again in Rio next year as they rounded out the men’s podium.

Women’s race

Following the 1500m sea swim, Jodie Stimpson was the leading British athlete with Stanford and Holland close behind. Helen Jenkins unfortunately was kicked several times during the swim, forcing her to withdraw.

The hilly multi-lap bike course saw a group including Stimpson, Stanford, Holland, Jorgensen and Sarah True (USA) break away and stay away. After the first few kilometres of the run, Holland, Stanford, True and Jorgensen managed to forge ahead, before disaster struck for Holland when she tripped over a barrier on the third lap and fell heavily.

Holland recovered but Jorgensen and Stanford had gone and she was left to fight True for bronze, which she achieved brilliantly. Stanford and Holland now need another podium finish at the Grand Final in Chicago next month to secure pre selection. Jodie Stimpson finished tenth, a solid result after injury.

“It was paramount I did well today for selection really and it’s boosted my confidence after a tough couple of years,” said Stanford. “The hill was pretty tough, there’s no two ways about it. We have smaller gearing on our bikes to help us get up. Great fast technical descent, I really enjoyed it. I think that tested a few people. All in all, it was a fantastic day and now I need to keep my head down and work towards Chicago.”

Men’s race

The men’s race got underway shortly afterwards, with two groups forming on the one-lap ocean swim at Copacabana Beach. Among the lead group were Richard Varga (SVK), Henri Schoeman (RSA) and a string of French men including Luis, Dorian Coninx (FRA) and Pierre Le Corre (FRA) exiting the water first, along with Gomez and Luis.

Alistair Brownlee swam and biked superbly, sticking with the lead group in both legs and putting himself in a very strong position for a medal as he left T2. However, he struggled with an ankle injury on the run and had to ease off on the last lap.

Gomez and Luis forged ahead to close in on gold and silver, while Murray worked hard to claw back lost time and take bronze. Brownlee finished tenth, and GB’s Adam Bowden managed to finish 12th after putting in a strong run.

Men’s podium, left to right: Vincent Luis, Javier Gomez, Richard Murray

Brendan Purcell, performance director at British Triathlon, said: “Alistair wanted to hang on to third place but his injury let him down today. His swim and bike showed again that can get into a winning position and he almost held on, so although it wasn’t the result he wanted, there were a lot of positives.

“It’s been a good event overall, but obviously disappointing for some. Everyone has taken full advantage of the opportunity to experience what next year might be like.”

Women’s top ten

1. Gwen Jorgensen (USA) 01:58:46
2. Non Stanford (GBR) 01:59:05
3. Vicky Holland (GBR) 01:59:27
4. Sarah True (USA) 01:59:46
5. Barbara Riveros (CHI) 02:00:08
6. Katie Zaferes (USA) 02:00:26
7. Anne Haug (GER) 02:00:57
8. Annamaria Mazzetti (ITA) 02:01:00
9. Rachel Klamer (NED) 02:01:01
10. Jodie Stimpson (GBR) 02:01:04

Men’s top ten 

1. Javier Gomez Noya (ESP) 01:48:26
2. Vincent Luis (FRA) 01:48:40
3. Richard Murray (RSA) 01:49:01
4. David Hauss (FRA) 01:49:32
5. Dmitry Polyanskiy (RUS) 01:49:32
6. Aaron Royle (AUS) 01:49:34
7. Mario Mola (ESP) 01:49:37
8. Igor Polyanskiy (RUS) 01:49:41
9. Joao Silva (POR) 01:49:46
10. Alistair Brownlee (GBR) 01:49:54

(Images: Delly Carr / Werner Araujo)

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What did you think of the races? Let us know in the comments below!

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

Norseman Xtreme Triathlon 2015 race report

May 7, 2021 | News | No Comments

Norway’s Norseman Xtreme Triathlon is known as one of the hardest races out there, but the 2015 edition proved particularly tough on Saturday (1 August), with chilly conditions forcing the organisers to take the sensible decision and shorten the swim.

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>>> Pain and suffering on Zombie Hill at the Norseman – blog

Water temperatures hovered around 10.5°C in Hardangerfjord, meaning the swim was halved for the first time in the race’s 13-year history – it’s usually closer to 13-15°C.

Nonetheless, 249 hardy athletes jumped in from the car ferry and began a long day of racing that would involve 1.9km of swimming, 180km of cycling and 42.2km of running.

Men’s race

Defending champion Allan Hovda had an impressive support crew that included Danish pro triathlete Rasmus Henning, who joined him for the last section of the run, which begins with the long uphill drag at 25km on the road known as ‘Zombie Hill’ and finishes at the top of the rocky Gaustatoppen mountain.

“It’s been an extremely rough day,” said Hovda after claiming the win in 9:43hrs. “Henrik Oftedal biked like crazy.” Second place went  to Lars Petter Stormo (NOR), and third place went to up-and-coming youngster Lars Kristian Vold. 

Women’s race

Norseman first-timer Kristin Lie battled her fellow Norwegian Line Foss all the way to the finish line, finishing nearly three minutes ahead with a time of 11:50hrs. Third place went to Line Marie Langseth. 

“I think the race was awesome,” said Lie afterwards. “The organisers, the crowd – everything was amazing. I felt I had control the whole time. I just kept smiling.

“My support gave me clothes, they gave me food – I was really prepared for a really cold bike ride. When we were at the top of the mountain, it’s cold. I had really huge gloves and a really huge warm jacket, so I was enjoying myself.”

For more results and race information, visit the website at www.nxtri.com.

Men’s results

1) Allan Hovda (NOR) 9:43:46
2) Lars Petter Stormo (NOR) 9:49:43
3) Lars Christian Vold (NOR) 9:54:27
4) Graeme Stewart (GBR) 10:04:36
5) Henrik Oftedal (NOR) 10:22:09

Women’s results

1) Kristin Lie (NOR) 11:50:48
2) Line Foss (NOR) 11:53:32
3) Line Mari Langseth (NOR) 12:13:42
4) Kari Flottorp Lingsom (NOR) 12:21:46
5) Silje Rafaelsen (NOR) 12:44:03

(Images: José Luis Hourcade)

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Did you race Norseman? Let us know in the comments below!

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

The sensational claim that a third of recent medal winners in top-level athletics may have recorded potentially suspicious blood tests has prompted the International Olympics Committee to promise a “zero tolerance” approach for any athletes found guilty.

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The scandal began over the weekend with a television documentary by German broadcaster ARD, which claimed to have obtained a leaked database belonging to the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) and containing thousands of blood tests for the period 2001 to 2012. 

ARD quotes two scientists as saying that analysis of these blood test results suggest a third of medals awarded in endurance races at the Olympics and world championships for the period covered were won by athletes who had recorded suspicious blood tests during their careers.

The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) has since stated that the allegations require “swift and close scrutiny” to determine whether or not there have been breaches in the World Anti-Doping Code.

“WADA is very disturbed by these new allegations that have been raised by ARD; which will, once again, shake the foundation of clean athletes worldwide,” said Sir Craig Reedie, President of WADA. “Given the nature of these allegations, which are an extension to those that were raised by ARD’s December 2014 documentary, they will immediately be handed over to WADA’s Independent Commission for further investigation.”

However, many commentators have pointed out that a variety of factors must be taken into account when analysing blood tests, including the possibility of altitude training, dehydration, blood transfusions and more.

The IAAF is expected to release a formal response to the allegations imminently – more info as soon as we have it…

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(Main image: Nizar Kerkeni)

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By GETAWAYTHEBERKSHIRES

Martyn Brunt takes on the Isoman

May 7, 2021 | News | No Comments

According to my Collins Little Gem dictionary, the word ‘Iso’ means ‘equal’, and is typically used as a prefix to words like ‘Isochron’ and ‘Isotope’, which sound faintly sinister and suggest people in laboratories meddling with atoms.

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This definition was news to me because the only time I’d ever heard the word before was when England footballer John Barnes used to drone on about Isotonic drinks in Lucozade Sport adverts in the 1990s. 

That was until I heard about a new and exciting triathlon event, the Isoman – exciting because some race organisers had been in a lab of their own, meddling with the format of Ironmans to come up with the concept of ‘triathlon equalised’. Chief lab-based race directors, Gary Jarvis and Phil Walker, worked out that most triathlon distances seem somewhat biased towards cycling and running, with only 10% of the total race time spent swimming, 50% cycling and 40% running. 

As a swimmer(ish) I’ve long had a chip on my shoulder that you don’t get equally rewarded for being good at swimming as you do for being good at cycling and running. For starters, you don’t get much of a lead for being a faster swimmer, people who don’t swim so well aren’t nearly as knackered as they should be when they get out, and bike legs become a depressing procession of the thwack-thwack-thwack sound of carbon wheels passing you. The aim of Isoman was to address this cruel treatment of poor swimmers and create a tri for which all disciplines demand an equal level of excellence/incompetence (delete as applicable).

The Isoman distances were set based on an equal third of total race time, which equated to a mere 61 miles on the bike but a whopping seven-mile swim. Oh, and still a bloody marathon. The venue for this jaunt was Arrow Valley Country Park in the heart of Worcestershire’s rolling hills, a mere hour from my house but a world away from the dull Midlands flatlands I inhabit, where the only way to inject some excitement into your cycling is to take unnecessary risks at level crossings.

With 12 Iromans under my belt I’m more than familiar with the usual format of race briefings which are carried out with the grim ceremony of a prison hanging, and transition areas which may as well be patrolled by an armed lion. I
was therefore pleasantly surprised by the informal, laid-back atmosphere of the Iso briefing, and even happier when I found out there were just 49 hardy souls taking on the full Isoman – there’s nothing like a guaranteed top-50 finish to put some steam in your stride. 

One of the additional quirks of Isoman was equalised transitions – a minimum transition time of seven minutes for T1 and five mins for T2, which happily took out the daddy-long-legs post-swim run and flinging
on of kit, which I’m crap at.


The seven mile swim 

The factors that usually enter my mind at the start of a race are whether the lake is the temperature of glacial meltwater and will I thus exit the water looking like a day-old corpse. This time though, the words SEVEN MILES are all I could think about, not just because the course is SEVEN MILES but because I know from a 10k training swim that my biggest enemies in a three-hour swim are dehydration and earworms – those unbidden tunes you get stuck in your head while you’re out on long training sessions. I prepare to combat the prospect of getting Gangnam Style or Tubthumping echoing round my brain by listening to my favourite iPod tunes right up to the start, but am distracted when I bump into my friends Kate Hutchings and Andy Waters-Peach (Peachy), who are both remarkably chipper for people about to meet their watery doom. 

In fact, the assembled crowd of swimmers are all very cheery considering what’s coming and when the race gets underway it’s far more polite than any open-water race I’ve ever done. The course is T-shaped, with plenty of turn buoys to break up the monotony and which are all negotiated with impeccable manners, probably because everyone knows that a bit of jostling is a fruitless waste of energy. 

Things turn livelier when the half-Iso-Manners get in, but overall I progress at the ponderous pace of a dreadnought, stopping every two laps for a drink of something that tastes suspiciously like Benylin. Apart from a slight tightness across the shoulders and a creeping concern about faecal coliform the swim passes without incident, and I’m enormously surprised to emerge from the depths in a time of 3:04:07 and fourth place.

The 61-mile bike

After dossing about in transition for my allotted seven minutes, and eating an energy bar which looks like a forearm boiled in yoghurt, I speed away on my trusty old road bike with tyres so inflated that potholes aren’t so much absorbed as battered into submission. After an initial short section on a dual carriageway, we’re off in to the leafy lanes. 

I don’t mind admitting I’m absolutely flying! I breeze the first 35 miles to the amusingly-named Upton Snodsbury before flying down to Throckmorton. Then a quick right hand turn towards Fladbury, another at Charlton, then another onto the extremely busy B4084 and…. hang on this doesn’t feel right. I’ve been dutifully following yellow arrow signs… right into the middle of Pershore High Street. 

There’s no experience more soul-stabbing than going the wrong way in a race. After a mighty swear, I ask Pershore’s shoppers to point me in the vague direction of Redditch and set off like Chris Froome if he really had an electric bike. I’m furious at having made a 10-tonne tit of myself but baffled at how I’ve gone wrong. 

I don’t have a satnav on my bike – as a middle-aged man I consider it my duty to regard technical developments with alarm and bewilderment – so after a couple of wrong turns around Pinvin I’m extremely lucky to stumble back on to the course courtesy of André Blincowe from Oxford Tri, who’s also lost having missed the turn for the Iso Quarter and ended up on the long course. Exchanging horror stories, André and I arrive back in bloody Throckmorton. 

This time I notice there’s no right hand turn to Fladbury – ah ha! It transpires that some stupid bum-funnel has put almost identical yellow signs for an entirely unrelated sportive out on the course, which sadly results in several Iso riders going wrong, many of whom decide not to continue with the race. In my case I’m too peeved to stop, and stamp furiously on despite running out of drink and ending up with a mouth that tastes like I’ve been chewing depleted uranium. When I finally roll into T2 the crows overhead start flying upside down because I’m not worth crapping on, and I manage a grand total of 79.4 miles instead of 61.3. I later find out that my time of 4:35:39 is the slowest bike split of anyone in the whole race. (But let me state for the record that I don’t hold the Iso organisers remotely responsible for this, the fault was entirely mine because it’s my responsibility to know the course.)

Brunty on the marathon, complete with cap to hide his ‘helmet hair’


The 26.2-mile run

Despite having five minutes to play with I take my helmet off and don my cap because after cycling my hair invariably looks like I’ve brushed it with a balloon, and even with my 18-mile detour I’m feeling sprightly when I heave off onto the run course. Once upon a time I had powers in triathlon running, but they’ve waned in recent years to the extent that I have to operate a reward system to keep myself going – for every mile run I give myself a Jelly Baby. (Note of caution – Bertie Bassett isn’t as generous as he used to be because there used to be enough in a bag to get you round a marathon, but here I ran out with three miles to go.)

A few miles in I fall into step with Sam Walsh, a young triathlete from Bolton who’s a lap ahead of me. We end up running together for nine miles despite me harping endlessly on about doing an extra 18 miles and coming out with quips that suggest I have the wit of a cardboard dog. Sam does a great job suppressing his smugness that he didn’t go wrong because he’d recce’d the bike course, and I miss his cheeriness when we part. It’s now a long, lonely run through Redditch’s grassy outskirts. But despite my steadily slowing pace and the solitude, I manage to keep running and chatting to any other competitors I see, such as Oxford Tri’s Nic Defillion who’s battling with blisters the size of my head.

My fourth and final lap is my slowest but when the finish line finally hoves into view I summon enough reserves not to look too decrepit for the photos and cross the line in 4:25:51 for a grand total of 12:07:51. 

So there I am, an Isoman, albeit a not especially equal one. Having the fourth fastest swim and marathon leads me to conclude I may have sneaked fourth spot, but that would do a disservice to my fellow unfortunates who came a cropper at the road sign of doom and who may well have caned me further up the road. As it was, 10th place overall isn’t too bad after my wanderings and being one of only 30 finishers has given me a sense that I belong to a very exclusive club which, after pondering the number of bike miles I added on and the number of finishers, I shall call Club 18-30.

So a massive well done to all 30 finishers of the first-ever Isoman. It was tough, but a brilliant concept and I really hope it catches on. I’ll definitely be back next year – for one thing, I’m guaranteed a massive PB.

If you’re brave enough to take on the Isoman yourself, you can enter the 2016 edition here

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