Date: January 7th, 2013

We are LIVE in: Tampa, Florida

Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
____________________________________________________

John Cena comes out and heads to the ring to address the WWE Universe.

A clip of last week shows Cena dumping waste on Dolph Ziggler and AJ.

Cena: What a gloriously crap-tastic end to 2012! And by the noise here tonight what a hell of a way to kick off 2013. I’m with ya. We got special folks in the crowd tonight, and a special night for everyone here. Tonight, in TLC match with the WWE Championship on the line CM Punk goes one on one with Ryback. We’re not stopping there. You can feel the excitement here tonight. It’s like…electricity. It’s like you can feel the boots wanting to be put to asses. You know that the captain of team bring it is here tonight. Tonight, we welcome back The Rock! Oh yes! And that certainly means we’re on the road to Wrestlemania. In three weeks we have the Royal Rumble match with the winner receiving a ticket to the biggest main event of them all. Last week I said I was entering the Rumble match and I meant it.

Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee and Big E Langston come out together and stand on stage.

Ziggler: John John John. They may have come to see you and The Rock, but the one thing they’re going to remember today is the hottest thing in WWE Dolph Ziggler.

AJ: Is this what makes you feel better, John? Is this what helps you sleep at night? It wasn’t enough to make a joke of us last week? What about toying with my emotions and breaking my heart? That wasn’t enough? I can’t believe I left my job over someone like you. You are a petty, pathetic small man. You are a VERY small man, John.

Cena: I’m a small-I’M A SMALL MAN!? Ladies and gentlemen we start off history. Ladies and gentlemen, AJ has just made her first sixth grade wiener joke! You shouldn’t be ashamed. You can check it off the bucket list. In fact it deserves a wave! Come on, keep it going!

The audience starts doing a wave around the arena.

Cena: Now, if the customary wave is finished, we know the wiener joke rule. One good wiener joke deserves another. There once was a man from Nantucket-

Ziggler: That’s enough, John! Every time someone beats you you laugh it off, but i’m not leaving anywhere. So cut the crap-

Cena: I did cut the crap, and then dropped it on you last week.

Ziggler: Well you know what? Tonight I officially enter the Royal Rumble. So you can’t hide anymore. Me and 29 other superstars will be in there with the intent of not letting you win.

Cena: I wish you the best of luck. And-WATCH OUT!

Ziggler and AJ freak out. Nothing happens.

Cena: You gotta be crazy to think i’d dump crap on you twice. Well AJ is crazy. I’ll tell you what, you seem to talk a lot from over there. I’m done talking. Let’s start fighting. You and me. Right here. Right now.

Langston grabs the mic.

Langston: Yo Cena! You think Dolph’s your only problem? Well I have your answer for you, and…it’s on.

Cena: Fear and common sense is standing in your way. Come on down, Ziggler.

Ziggler and Langston talk it out with each other while Cena stands waiting for one of them. Then, all three walk down to the ring. Cena versus Ziggler is up next!

[Commercial]

[Match 1]
[Singles Match]
[John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ AJ Lee & Big E Langston]

Bell sounds. Ziggler and Cena grapple. Ziggler shoves Cena into the ropes and Cena with a shoulder tackle. Ziggler gets up. They grapple again. Ziggler with a side headlock into a snapmare. He keeps the headlock on until Cena shoves him into the ropes. Leapfrog over Ziggler followed by a hip toss and an arm drag into an arm lock. Ziggler gets to his feet and punches Cena off. He puts him in the corner and punches him down. Ziggler with kidney punches. Cena walks to the opposite corner. Ziggler whips Cena know another turnbuckle. He picks Cena up and drives an elbow to the back of the neck. He sets Cena at the corner and lands more punches and kicks. Ziggler with cocky sit ups and Cena rolls Ziggler up for two. Cena whips Ziggler into the turnbuckle and catches him with a bulldog for a one count. Cena with a guillotine choke on Ziggler. Ziggler fights back up but Cena counters with a delayed vertical suplex for a two count. Cena whips Ziggler into the ropes and Ziggler catches him with a kick to the head. Ziggler kicks Cena into the corner, runs and connects with a running body splash for two. Ziggler throws another right hands to keep him down. He waits for Cena to get up before hitting a dropkick for two. Ziggler taunts Cena and Cena catches Ziggler with a slingshot into the turnbuckle. Ziggler counters with an elbow and with the ref distracted Langston gets on the apron and knocks Cena down with a strong right hand. Ziggler covers and gets a two count.

[Commercial]

Ziggler with a headlock on Cena. He applies more pressure by doing a headstand. Cena gets to his feet with Ziggler on his back and tosses him off. Cena with a belly to belly suplex. AJ gets on the ropes and distracts the ref. Ziggler catches Cena with a dropkick to the chin for a two count. Ziggler proceeds to hit Cena with eight elbow drops in a row for two. AJ gets back on the apron. Cena gets up and AJ slaps Cena in the face. The referee throws AJ and Langston out from ringside. AJ gets angry and leaves with Langston. Cena attacks Ziggler with two shoulder tackles. Cena goes for Five Knuckle Shuffle but Ziggler counters with a bulldog legdrop for two. Ziggler waits for him to get up. Ziggler runs at him and Cena shoves him into the turnbuckle post before hitting a spinning powerbomb. He goes for Five Knuckle Shuffle again but Ziggler catches Cena with the Zig-Zag for two. Ziggler goes for a superkick, but Cena counters with an STF attempt. Ziggler fights out of it and hits Cena with an implant DDT for two. Ziggler climbs to the top of the turnbuckle and waits for Cena to get up. He goes for a cross body but Cena catches Ziggler and puts him in position for Attitude Adjustment. He goes for it, but Ziggler lands on his feet and hits Cena with a superkick for a close two. Ziggler dives on Cena and pummels him with elbows to the face.

Cena with a shot to the gut. Ziggler and Cena start trading punches. Cena starts winning out, but Ziggler catches Cena in the sleeper hold. Cena weakens as he reaches for the ropes, but Cena somehow manages to toughen up and tosses Ziggler off him accidentally hitting the ref. Cena catches Ziggler with a drop toe hold followed by the STF. Ziggler is tapping but the referee is down. Langston runs into the ring and attacks Cena from behind. He drops Cena with the Big Ending and puts Ziggler on top Of Cena. A few seconds later another referee runs down to the ring and makes the count. Cena kicks out at two! Cena and Ziggler get up. Cena lifts Ziggler on his shoulders and hits the Attitude Adjustment for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: John Cena]
[Time: 17:04]

Tonight, CM Punk defends his WWE Championship in a TLC match against Ryback. Plus, The Rock is here!

WWE Divas Champion Eve comes to the ring to defend her championship.

[Commercial]

Her opponent, Kaitlyn, is already in the ring.

[Match 2]
[Divas Championship Match]
[Eve(c) vs. Kaitlyn]

Bell sounds. Eve and Kaitlyn circle each other and grapple. Eve with a side headlock into a snapmare for a one count. Eve keeps the headlock locked on. Eve counters with a head scissors submission. Eve gets to her feet and tackles Kaitlyn down before applying a leg lock. Eve twists the formerly injured left leg until Kaitlyn kicks her off into the corner. Kaitlyn tries to get at her, but the ref warns Kaitlyn to tie her boot laces. While she ties her laces Eve attacks Kaitlyn with a running kick to the head. Eve puts Kaitlyn in the corner and stomps her down. Eve then climbs the turnbuckle and chokes Kaitlyn out int he corner before waving to her fans. Eve picks Kaitlyn up and applies a reverse headlock followed by a shot to the neck. Eve runs the ropes and Kaitlyn counters with a side slam for two. Kaitlyn whips Eve into the ropes and lands a shoulder tackles. Kaitlyn then grabs Eve and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two. Eve goes for a whip, but Kaitlyn counters and puts Eve over her shoulder. Kaitlyn drops off and Eve goes to leave, but Kaitlyn goes after her. Eve grabs her title and runs off into the crowd while the referee counts her out. Kaitlyn gets back in the ring and gets a count out victory.

[Winner via Count Out: Kaitlyn]
[Time: 04:40]

Up next, the tag team champions team Hell No takes on team Rhodes Scholars.

[Commercial]

Santino is backstage talking to someone.

Santino: Watching you at WrestleMania 3 versus Macho Man has to be my favorite match.

The camera pans out showing WWE Hall of Famer Ricky Steamboat.

Steamboat: Thank you, Santino. That was the highlight of my career.

Barrett: Well, well, well, isn’t this cute?

Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett walks up to them.

Barrett: How about that. Never thought i’d see a has been talk to a never was. Now that i’m the Intercontinental Champion, this title means something again. As for you, Steamo, you’re no fire breathing dragon anymore. You’re just an old man.

Barrett leaves. Steamboat turns to Santino.

Steamboat: I’ve got an idea. How about if the dragon is in your corner tonight? Let’s see how much smoke this old man can blow.

Meanwhile, Randy Orton is backstage being interviewed by Matt Striker.

Striker: Randy, i’ve been told that you’ll be entering the Royal Rumble along with last year’s winner Sheamus.

Orton: Woah woah woah. I’m a former winner, and I intend to win this year. I-

3MB walks up to him.

Slater: Just so you know, 3MB is entering the Royal Rumble, and one of us is going to wrestle the main event of WrestleMania.

Orton: The big question is, which one of you is going to face me.

Slater: You have your pick, Randy.

Orton: Mr. Front Man, you won’t be playing the air guitar any longer. You’ll be playing the harp.

Orton leaves.

Tag Team Champion Kane comes down to the ring for his match.

His partner, Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan, comes out next.

[Commercial]

Sandow and Rhodes are already in the ring.

[Match 3]
[Tag Team Match]
[Daniel Bryan & Kane vs. Damien Sandow & Cody Rhodes]

Bell sounds. Kane and Cody start thing soff. Kane keeps Cody in the corner and lands a jab to the throat. Kane with punches in the corner. Kane whips Cody into the opposite turnbuckle and Cody with an elbow to the face. Tag to Sandow. Kane catches Sandow with a snapmare and a dropkick for two. Kane whips Sandow into his corner and tags Bryan in. Kane whips Bryan into Sandow and Bryan with a running dropkick for a one count. Bryan grabs the arm and breaks it against his shoulder. He turns it into a hammerlock to keep Sandow grounded. SDandow gets up and catches Bryan with an elbow. Tag to Cody. Bryan with a drop toe hold to Cody followed by numerous kicks to the chest. Bryan whips Cody and hits a northern lights suplex for two. Bryan with an uppercut. He whips Cody in the corner and Cody with a hard elbow followed by a boot to the midseciton. Tag to Sandow. Sandow stomps on Bryan in the corner and chokes him with his boot. Sandow pulls Bryan out of the corner and covers for two. Tag to Cody. Cody punches Bryan in the back and shoves him back into his corner. Tag to Sandow. Sandow with right hands. He pulls Bryan off the corner and hits the Russian leg sweep followed by the Elbow of Disdain. Sandow applies a headlock on Bryan. Bryan gets to his feet and drives an elbow into the gut. Sandow whips Bryan and Bryan leap drogs to Kane tagging him in. Kane climbs to the top rope and hits a flying clothesline. Kane punches Cody off and hits Sandow with a big boot for two. Kane whips Sandow into two corners and splashes him before times before hitting a sidewalk slam for two. Kane goes for the chokeslam, but Sandow rolls out of the ring. Kane tags Bryan in and Bryan with a running knee to Sandow from the apron. Bryan tosses Sandow back in the ring and puts him in the corner. He delivers kick after kick after kick. Sandow whips him into the corner and Sandow back flips off the turnbuckle. Bryan tweaks his leg and looks injured. Tag to Cody and Cody goes to work on the injured leg. Sandow tries to attack the leg as well but Kane runs around the ring and punches him off. Cody baseball slides Kane away from Sandow. Cody goes over to Bryan and Bryan catches him with a small package for two. Rhodes gets back up, grabs a still hurt Bryan and hits Cross Rhodes for the three count.

[Winners via Pinfall: Team Rhodes Scholars]
[Time: 07:10]

Backstage, Randy Orton is heading to the ring to take on Heath Slater.

[Commercial]

3MB is already in the ring with Slater being Orton’s opponent.

Randy Orton comes out next. He walks down to the ring.

[Match 4]
[Singles Match]
[Randy Orton vs. Heath Slater w/Jinder Mahal & Drew McIntyre]

Bell sounds. Slater gets behind Orton. Orton counters with a side headlock. Slater shoves Orton into the ropes and Orton with a shoulder bump. Off the ropes Slater goes fora hip toss but Orton counters with a clothesline for two. Orton with headbutts in the corner until the ref breaks the count. Slater takes advantage and catches Orton with right hands into the corner. Orton fights back with an uppercut. Slater grabs Orton’s waist and pulls him out of the ring. Orton catches Slater with a jawbreaker and he beats up Mahal and McIntyre. Slater dropkicks Orton off the apron and with the ref’s back turned Mahal catches Orton with a clothesline. He and McIntyre beat on Orton and toss him back in the ring. Slater with a headlock. Orton fights back and catches Slater with a couple elbows. He goes for a scoop slam, but Slater slips out of it, shoves Orton into the corner and hits a neckbreaker for two. Slater climbs to the top of the turnbuckle, but Orton grabs the ropes causing Slater to land on the crown jewels. Orton climbs up the turnbuckle and hits Slater with a superplex. He waits for Slater to get up before hitting two clotheslines and a powerslam. Mahal and McIntyre try to get in the ring, but Orton kicks them out of the ring. Slater attacks Orton from behind, but Orton tosses Slater into the ropes and hits a DDT off the middle ropes. He sets Slater up for the RKO and hits it for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Randy Orton]
[Time: 04:28]

Mahal and McIntyre get in the ring and beat up Orton, but Orton catches them both with the RKO and stands tall over 3MB.

[Commercial]

Santino Marella is heading to the ring with Ricky Steamboat by his side. Wade Barrett is already in the ring.

[Match 5]
[Singles Match]
[Wade Barrett vs. Santino Marella w/Ricky Steamboat]

Bell sounds. Barrett goes for a clothesline but Santino with an arm drag. He goes for another one, but Barrett avoids it and kicks Santino the face. He puts Santino in the corner and lands some punches before hitting a suplex for two. Barrett with a headlock. Barrett goes for the pump handle slam, but Santino lands on his feet and catches Barrett with a dropkick for two. Santino ducks another clothesline, hits a hip toss and delivers a diving headbutt. He goes for The Cobra, but Barrett rolls onto the apron and catches Santino with a jawbreaker. Barrett waits for Santino to get up before hitting the Bull Hammer for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Wade Barrett]
[Time: 02:21]

Steamboat gets in the ring to try and help Santino up. Barrett gets back in the ring and sets up another Bull Hammer, but Ricky sees him coming. He takes his jacket off. Wade smirks and leaves the ring with his title.

Sheamus is backstage with Striker.

Striker: Last year you won the Rumble match. You went on to win the World Championship in 18 seconds. Can you do it again?

Sheamus: I’m going to be honest. I have my doubts. I know I can win the Rumble match. I know I can win at Wrestlemania. I just don’t know if I can do it in 18 seconds again.

3MB walk over to him.

Sheamus: Why are you so glum? Don’t tell me, you broke a guitar string. No, you have laryngitis. No wait, it’s the fact you got your asses kicked by Randy Orton.

Slater: Orton just got lucky.

Sheamus: Well how about this. All four of us get in the ring and sing a song right now. How about the last guy standing after a Brogue Kick gets to sing Danny Boy. OOOH DANNY BOY! THE PIPES THE PIPES-well you get the idea. See you out there.

Sheamus leaves.

Punk versus Ryback is still to come.

[Commercial]

Kahli, Hornswoggle and Natalya Neidhart are in the ring. Antonio Cesaro, also in the ring, is Kahli’s opponent. The Miz is at commentary.

[Match 6]
[Singles Match]
[Antonio Cesaro vs. The Great Kahli]

Bell sounds. Cesaro kicks and punches Kahli, but Kahli with a punch that knocks him down. Kahli hits Cesaro with a couple elbows into the corner followed by a chop to the chest. Kahli with a second chop to the chest. Cesaro is knocked out of the ring. He tries to get back in and Kahli tosses him back in. Cesaro rolls onto the apron. Kahli goes over to him, but Cesaro grabs Kahli by the leg and snaps it against the ropes. Kahli limps over to the corner and Cesaro with a running tackle into the corner. Cesaro hits kick after kick into the damaged leg. Cesaro drive shis elbow into Kahli’s leg, but Kahli swats him off. Kahli with another chop to Cesaro. Cesaro gets up and runs after him. Kahli with a boot to the face followed by clotheslines. Kahli grabs Cesaro by the neck and looks for a Punjabi plunge, but Cesaro counters with a springboard uppercut that sends Kahli down. Cesaro puts Kahli between his legs and hits him with the Neutralizer (seriously) for the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Antonio Cesaro]
[Time: 03:30]

Paul Heyman is on the phone.

Heyman: That’s right. TLC. Tables, ladders and-

Brad Maddox stands next to Heyman and goes “PST”. Heyman hangs up.

Heyman: Guess I wasn’t clear last week. I. Don’t want YOU. In MY life.

Maddox: Who the hell do you think you are? You’re not going to talk to me that way. I know that I can be in service to you and Punk.

Heyman: Really? How so?

Maddox: Well I have my referee shirt tonight. I was thinking of suggesting to Vickie that I be put in Punk’s match tonight.

Heyman: I don’t want you talking to anybody. I want you to sliver back into that hole you crawl out of and stay there. If you ever PST me again, i’ll take you down.

Heyman leaves.

Back at ringside, Sheamus comes down to the ring for a match.

[Commercial]

Jinder Mahal, with 3MB by his side, will be facing Sheamus.

[Match 7]
[Singles Match]
[Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal w/Heath Slater & Drew McIntyre]

Bell sounds. Sheamus and Mahal circle each other and grapple. Sheamus with a headlock takedown. Sheamus puts Mahal in the corner. Mahal kicks Sheamus back and applies a side headlock. Sheamus shoves Mahal into the ropes and Mahal with a shoulder bump. Sheamus gets up and grabs Mahal by the nose before knocking him down with a shoulder bump. He kicks Mahal’s leg and Mahal rolls to the ring. He gets to his feet and he and Sheamus circle each other. Mahal gets behind Sheamus and Sheamus puts out of it. He accuses Mahal of touching his ass. Mahal denies it and goes for a kick, but Sheamus with a slap. Mahal goes for another kick and Sheamus with another slap. He gives Mahal a third slap before tossing him out of the ring. He then grabs Mahal by the neck, pulls him onto the apron and hits a ten count of clubbing blows to the chest. McIntyre gets on the apron and Sheamus gives him another 10 count of clubbing blows. Sheamus gets back to Mahal. Mahal whips him into the ropes and Sheamus kicks him. He runs the ropes and McIntyre pulls Sheamus’ leg allowing Mahal to knock him out of the ring. Sheamus attack McIntyre and the numbers game manages to take Sheamus down. They toss Sheamus back in the ring. Mahal kicks Sheamus for a bit before hitting a swinging neckbreaker for two. Mahal applies a headlock. Sheamus gets back up. Mahal runs the ropes and Sheamus with running forearms followed by a running knee to the face. He lifts Mahal and goes for White Noise, but Slater gets in the ring. Sheamus shoves Slater into Mahal and clotheslines them both out of the ring. Sheamus exits the ring, grabs Mahal and tosses him back in before delivering a big boot to McIntyre. Slater tries to get in the ring again and Sheamus hits him with the Brogue Kick. Then then lifts Mahal up and hits White Noise. With a smile on his face Sheamus sets up for the Brogue Kick to Mahal and hits connects! He covers and gets the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Sheamus]
[Time: 05:43]

Up next, CM Punk defends his championship against Ryback.

[Commercial]

WWE Champion CM Punk comes out and heads to the ring along with Paul Heyman.

His opponent, Ryback, comes down and heads to the ring.

[Match 8]
[WWE Championship TLC Match]
[CM Punk(c) w/Paul Heyman vs. Ryback]

Bell sounds. They circle each other and grapple. Ryback shoves Punk in the corner, but Punk slips out of it and catches Ryback with punches. Ryback shoves Punk back in the shoulder and shoulder tackles him. Ryback whips Punk into the corner. Ryback stomps Punk into the corner causing Punk to roll out of the ring. Punk looks under the ring and pulls out a chair. He smacks Ryback with the chair a couple times, but Ryback with a tackle followed by punches to the head. Ryback grabs the chair and Punk walks away from him. Ryback goes for a swing, but he misses and Punk with a roundhouse kick to the back of the head. Punk hits Ryback with the chair once again before shoving him into the barricade. Punk goes under the ring and pulls out a ladder. He tosses the ladder into the ring and Ryback catches him with right hands to the back of the neck. Ryback gets back into the ring, lifts Punk up and lifts him with a delayed suplex onto the ladder. Punk rolls out of the ring again. Ryback exits and walks over to Punk. He picks Punk up and chops him in the chest. He then lifts the ring steps and smacks Punk in the shoulder with them. Ryback grabs the bottom section of the ring steps and lifts it over his head. He drops it down on Punk, but Punk moves out of the way and jumps on the step to hit Ryback with a running knee to the face. Punk grabs a chair and jabs Ryback’s legs and back with it. Punk stands tall on the ring step.

[Commercial]

Ryback with an electric chair drop to Punk in the ring. A ladder is set up in the center. Ryback tosses Punk out of the ring. Ryback scoop slams Punk on the outside and pulls a table out from under the ring. Ryback sets the table up at the corner and Punk throws a chair at Ryback. Punk then pulls out his own table. He sets it up. He tries to toss Ryback, but Ryback counters and tosses Punk onto the announce table. Ryback grabs a piece of the announce table and smacks Punk with it. He tosses Punk back into the ring. Punk trips up Ryback and kicks his legs. He exits the ring, grabs a chair, and gets back in the ring. Punk smacks Ryback’s leg with the chair a few times. He then slips Ryback’s leg into the chair and climbs the turnbuckle. He tries to snap the ankle, but Ryback moves out of the way. Ryback with two clotheslines to Punk followed by a back body drop. Ryback hits a spinebuster next. Ryback sets up the meathook clothesline and it connects. Ryback picks Punk up, lifts him over his head and goes for Shellshock, but Punk slips out of the way and exits the ring. Ryback runs after him. He charges and Punk moves out of the way causing Ryback to ram himself through a table. Punk crawls back into the ring and sets the ladder up. Punk starts climbing. Ryback is up and he enters the ring. Ryback climbs up and meets Punk at top. Ryback lands some punches and Punk falls down. Ryback punches for the title and Punk shoves the ladder. Ryback lands on his feet and gorilla press slams Punk onto the ladder.

Ryback lifts Punk up and goes for a powerslam, but Punk slips out and hits Ryback with another roundhouse kick to the head. Punk sets the ladder up again. He then runs over to Ryback and hits a running knee to the face. He hits Ryback with another knee and goes for the bulldog, but Ryback lifts Punk over his head and dumps him off the top through the second table. Ryback exits the ring, grabs another ladder, and sets it up. Ryback climbs the ladder and reaches for the title. Suddenly, the lights go out. They comes back on, The Shield is on the ladder. Ryback fights them off, but Reigns from behind pulls him off. Ryback tosses all three of them out of the ring and climbs up again. Reigns from behind with a chair shot, and all three men are ganging up on Ryback. They beat him down with the chair, then lift Ryback up delivering a triple powerbomb through a table with the steel steps beneath. The Shield leaves the ringside area. Punk, slowly recovering, crawls back into the ring and slowly makes his way up the ladder. Punk reaches for the belt and pulls it down.

[Winner via Grabbing the Title: CM Punk]
[Time: 20:56]

[Commercial]

Heyman and Punk are celebrating backstage.

Heyman: 414 days!

Striker goes over to them to interview, but Punk stops him.

Punk: Let me guess. With all your investigative journalism you’re gonna ask me about Maddox and The Shield. I don’t know anything about them. As for The Rock, he’s supposed to run his mouth later? Well i’m going to walk out there and run my mouth. It’s time for me to drop another pipebomb.

Meanwhile, Kane is checking on Bryan who is icing his knee.

Kane: How’s your knee feeling?

Bryan: It’d be better if you actually helped me during the match. It’s your fault we lost to Rhodes Scholars.

Kane: It’s your fault.

Bryan: NO!

Kane: YES!

Bryan: NO

Kane: YES

Bryan: NO

Kane: YES

Bryan: NO

Kane: YES

Vickie: EXCUSE ME!

Vickie Guerrero walks over to them.

Kane: Vickie…why are you yelling?

Vickie: When I became managing supervisory, I was privy to their medical issues. Next week, both of you will have your fouth month evaluation with Dr. Shelby.

Vickie laughs and walks away.

Kane: Can you believe that? Dr. Shelby is a monster!

Bryan: No. Dr. Shelby is a nerd!

Kane: MONSTER

Bryan: NERD

Kane: MONSTER

Bryan: NERD

Kane: MONSTER

Bryan: NERD

Kane: Okay…Dr. Shelby is a nerd.

Bryan: No, he’s a monster!

Kane: NERD

Bryan: MONSTER

Kane: NERD

Bryan: MONSTER

Kane: NERD

Back at ringside, Kofi Kingston comes out to face Big Show.

[Commercial]

World Champion Big Show is already in the ring.

[Match 9]
[Singles Match]
[Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show]

Bell sounds. Kingston shoves Show in the corner and kicks him. The referee tries to pull Kingston off. Big Show suddenly throws a knock out punch out of nowhere. Kingston is unconscious. Show covers him and gets the three count.

[Winner via Pinfall: Big Show]
[Time: 00:23]

A video plays of the ending to Raw 1000 when CM Punk took out The Rock with a GTS.

Backstage, the camera shows Rock’s dressing room.

[Commercial]

WWE Champion CM Punk comes out and heads to the ring with Heyman to address the fans.

Punk: The time has come to tell you all something very perosnal. I keep my ear to the ground and hear everything everybody says. And lately the words “pip bomb” has been misunderstood. Nobody in the company seems to know what it means. Basically a pipe bomb is the truth. It’s honestly. It’s what all of you lack. The perception of him as someone disgruntled in Vegas and becoming the voice of the voiceless took over. I bitched and moaned about not getting any respect. Then I turned on the people. Well that’s a lie. I meant everything I said when I said it except ice cream because the last thing you people need is a bar of ice cream. But I was short changed and disconnected and I could’ve swallowed my pill or I could have left. Instead I made a conscious decision and I “sold out”, but I cashed in. I made this anti-hero you loved to cheer for because you love your superheros. Here’s the truth about the WWE. It’s doesn’t matter if you’re the best wrestler, talker, performer, or make the two at commentary look like clowns. There’s a glass ceiling in this company. The more popular you get the better you are. Why do you think that John Cena, who had the worst year last year, gets title shot after title shot. Or why Daniel Bryan, a submission specialist, jokes around with catchphrases. Or why an invisible child, Little Jimmy, is better positioned on the flagship show than a workhorse like Tyson Kidd. You’re doing it now! You’re falling for everything I say, and this is the way it is. This is the way you handle it. It’s easy. It’s simple to digest. You people can’t stomach anything interesting. We’re all here in the circus to entertain you. And nobody’s ever been able to obtain success without you…except now. Until I showed up.

Punk: I have become the most successful WWE champion of all time. No the “modern era” a buzzword people want you to say. Probably put it on a t-shirt. If I competed in Bruno Sammartino’s era I would have been champion for 20 years. You never saw Hulk Hogan wrestle TLC matches with Ryback. I wrestle physically demanding matches weekly. One of my years is equal to 30 of theirs. I am successful not because of you. I am successful in spite of you. I’m the most honest man in this company because everyone has the same ol’ crybaby story. They’ll say they’re doing it for all of you. Let’s do it for Tampa, Florida!

Punk: Here’s some honesty. I saw Roddy Piper smacked Snucka in the head with a coconut and I didn’t way “Wow I wanna entertain the people of Tampa, Florida!” There are good men and bad men, and I am a bad man. Rick Flair will come out and cry his eyes out. Shawn Michaels will say his entire career was to gain your acceptance. Edge will be forced to retire and say how he loved you people. These people were weak. I’m not weak or dishonest. I am the best in the world. There are two types of people. People in the spotlight, and people who pay to see the people in the spotlight. Guess which one you are. You are born to see champions like me, and to be honest I have never ever done this for any of you. There are superstars and there are nobodies. I am a superstar. Nobody here is. If they were, why don’t they give you the millions and millions of dollars they earn?

An official gets on the ring.

Punk: I’m told we have to take a commercial break. We go to break when the champ wants to go to break. Listen and understand something. Rock’s going to come out and talk a whole lot, but i’m going to tell you the most important thing here tonight. You do not matter. None of you matter. What you want doesn’t matter.

[Commercial]

Punk is still in the ring.

Punk: I stand here on the first raw of 2013 as WWE Champion and I promise I will stand in the ring on the first Raw of 2014 as WWE Champion. What fuels me is your constant disappoint. I’m not going to let the Rock tear down everything I obtained. In 2011 when I beat Alberto Del Rio for this title I didn’t just beat Del Rio, I beat the system. I didn’t care who I defeated. I wasn’t just beating them I was beating all of you and for 414 days that’s what I have done. I have stomped you under my oppressive boot and that’s what i’m going to do to The Rock. I don’t care if he wins. You do not get to win. You are all losers. You do not get to win-

The Rock comes out and heads to the ring. He meets Punk face to face.

Rock: The Rock had to hear it all. The Rock wanted to wait until you said everything you had to say so The Rock knew the kind of man he was dealing with. And now it’s become crystal clear to The Rock. You are straight up delusional. You keep mention 414. 414 days you’ve been WWE Champion. That’s incredible! The real number, it ain’t 414 jack. The real number is 20. 20 excuses running your mind right now. 20 hairs standing on your straight edge scrotum. Because you know in 20 days you’ll be defending against the Rock. You know that in 20 days…time’s up. You wanted change. You said that when you became WWE Champion you reject the people. No no no no. The people rejected you. You talked about change. You couldn’t do it. You came out and promised everybody ice cream bars, and you couldn’t even do that. You couldn’t provide ice cream if Carvel and Cookiepuss drove an ice cream truck up your ass! I want you to listen to something, Punk. That’s voices. You claim to be the voice of the voiceless, but that’s a bunch of hot garbage because here in the WWE Universe there’s no such thing as the voiceless. They have voices, and they love to use their voice every single night. As a matter of fact they know something special’s getting ready to happen now. They’re going to chant the loudest chant you ever heard. They’re going to chant something that will follow you for the rest of your life. They’re going to chant exactly what you are. In three seconds they’re going to chant…cookiepuss.

The fans, sure enough, chant “cookiepuss”.

Punk: Be the puppets that you are! He got you chanting about ice cream the same way I did. Congratulation. They still don’t get to win . You don’t get to win.

Rock: They don’t get to win? Oh they’ve already won! That’s what you fail to realize. They won on the moment Rock woke up this morning at 4 am, sent his early morning tweet to the world, went to the gym clanging and banging, then drove up right through alligator alley so The Rock could stand here in the middle of this ring and proudly say THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO TAMPA! You see Punk, it’s not just that The Rock is back. It’s why the Rock is back. The Rock is back to entertain them, to stop you, and after 10 long year The Rock is back to win that! He’s watched the show. Every Monday Night Raw deceiving and backpedaling. You’re lying. He’d be yelling at the screen for somebody to show this man a doctor because for a straight edge guy he looks like Popeye on crack! CM Punk. You have one of the most creative and innovative minds in the WWE. You became WWE Champion and also became one of the biggest jerks the world has ever seen. The Rock can look you in the eye and say with all the passion in his heart, don’t ever say that the people don’t matter. The people have always mattered. You’re the one who doesn’t matter.

Punk: Oh I matter, i’m the most successful-

Rock: IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU MATTER! The only thing that matters is that there’s no way, and The ROck means no way, you’re going to stop The Rock from becoming WWE Champion.

Punk and Rock circle one another. Punk then drops the title on the mat.

Punk: Unlike a lot of people i’m glad you’re back. I don’t care if you work here 16 days a year, 365 days a year, 1 day a year, i’ll still kick you ass. Every time you wanna come back and grace us with your presence, i’m happy to kick you ass. You can make fun of my shirt and sing songs and rhyme and do your lame ass schtick. You have about three weeks to realize that i’m going to kick your ass. I’m the best in the world. You’re playing little league with your insults and rhymes. I’m playing big league and swinging for the fences. Your insults are kid games. You can’t leave a mark on the champ’s face. Come Royal Rumble your arms will be just too short to box with God.

Rock: You may think that The Rock is boxing a God. But the Rock knows for a fact that you’re going one on one with the great one. Don’t you think that The Rock doesn’t know how bad you are, how great you are. Rock knows that the last time we were in the ring you knocked Rock out with a GTS. But come 20 days, times’ up. Here’s what Rock wants you to do until then. Rock wants you to go home, look in the mirror and strip naked. Look at yourself, don’t concentrate on your cookie puss, concentrate on your backside and lets see if you can find a spot for two more tattoos. On the left buttcheek he wants you to put snickers, M&Ms, all kinds of candy. And then on the other cheek he wants you to put a tattoo of Rock’s boot so that you’ll know that at the Royal Rumble the Rock is going to kick your candy ass!

The Rock grabs punk and delivers a Rock Bottom. Punk rolls out of the ring and clutches his title while Rock stares him down from inside the ring as the show comes to an end.