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Winter is officially in full swing, and with it comes the usual malaise around exercise and committing to a regular fitness program. My eight barre studios slow right down in winter – less people come and the people who do, visit less often. It’s the natural winter lull. The temperature is cooler and it’s just so tempting to sleep in each morning and curl up on the couch with a blanket watching Netflix in the evenings.

It’s not a bad thing to take a break from exercise once in a while, and I know that a week of rest every so often does me wonders. I come back to my classes stronger as a result of the recovery and more committed than ever. However, this definitely does not apply to breaks of three or more months – yes, I’m talking to you. Instead of taking a break, why not commit to making this your fittest winter yet. If you need a little motivation, here are five reasons to get moving in the cooler months.

Exercise will warm you up
It’s already cold enough in winter so give your body a warmth boost each day by getting your heart rate up. It can be as simple as going outside for a brisk 10-minute walk. Layer up and you’ll be peeling clothes off before you know it.

Burn fat instead of storing it
For thousands of years our bodies have been programmed to store fat for winter in order to prepare for the famine ahead. Our metabolism slows down and insulin resistance increases. This was all well and good back then, but these days instead of a famine, what generally happens is that we eat more food, and of the heavier variety. There’s no winter famine in 2019, only delicious curries, hot chips and roast dinners. Combat this by eating well and moving more to speed up your metabolism and burn fat instead of storing it.

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Working out will keep you happy
Winter depression is definitely a thing. SAD (seasonal affective disorder), where one feels flat and depressed in the colder months, affects many people and can be a real drag. The exact cause isn’t known, but many scientists believe it is due to there being less sunlight hours in the autumn and winter months, which results in reduced melatonin and serotonin production. Exercise is a wonderful way to boost your happiness in winter as it produces endorphins – the “happy hormone” that triggers a positive feeling in the body.

Get a jump on your bikini body
If looking and feeling fit is a priority for you, don’t let yourself down over winter. Stay in shape with regular workouts so that you can breeze into spring in shape.

Look better in winter clothes
A healthy body looks (and feels) better in clothes. I promise you’ll feel better, look better, stay healthier and be happier. Working out over winter seems like a win to me.

Emma Seibold is the founder of Barre Body and Bende Byron Bay. Follow her on Instagram as @emmaseibold_.

“We met a few years back in Saint-Tropez during a big lunch with friends at Le Club 55,” says Ana Teixeira de Sousa, the fashion designer behind the label Sophia Kah, of meeting her future husband, Philippe Schmitz. “Some months later, a mutual friend of ours organised a New Year’s trip to St. Moritz in Switzerland and that’s where all the magic happened.” Philippe proposed to Ana during a holiday in Thailand. “It was very special. Every October we travel to a sunny place and one of our favourite places is Yao Noi in Thailand. We went to a private island, where an amazing beach barbecue was being organised under the stars. It was magical.”

Ana describes her wedding theme as “a magical garden.” She adds: “I’d also say effortless garden chic with colonial touches. We wanted our guests to enter on a journey from the moment they stepped inside the Mateus Palace. All details were thought through from the music and colours to the surprises.”

Ana used a wedding planner but says she was “one hundred per cent” involved with the styling of the wedding. “I had a great wedding planner, who dreamt up, with me, every single detail with energy and enthusiasm. Most of the styling was done by me.”

Scroll through to see more from this stylish wedding.

The pair wed in Douro Valley in Portugal, a world heritage-listed wine region. “I started the morning with a bit of stress because there was some last-minute seating to organise,” says Ana. “Then I went for a relaxing massage around 1pm, and at 2pm I started getting ready with all my bridesmaids.”

Ana wore a spectacular cape and French veil with her dress, which she designed herself. “My dress took months to produce,” she says. “I started the design process with a single idea: I wanted my dress to be effortless, glamorous and sumptuous. Then I took a lot of inspiration from Greek goddesses – that’s where the beautiful cape came from.”

Outside the 18th-century Baroque palace, Casa de Mateus.

A vintage pink Pontiac matches the bridesmaids’ dresses.

Peonies woven with greenery adorn the church. “We used roses, peonies and a lot of greenery,” Ana adds.

Blushing bridesmaids in Sophia Kah Signature. “I had seven bridesmaids and three flower girls. All my bridesmaids wore my Signature Sophia Kah dresses.”

The couple kneel before the altar inside the palace’s private church.

The bride’s sister, Ines Teixeira de Sousa, with a flower girl.

Rose petals rain down on the newlyweds.

Friends and family from around the globe arrive at the palace.

The silk georgette gown is delicately embroidered with jasmine thread.

“I wanted my make-up to look very natural with a focus on my eyes. I tried a few different make-up artists and picked the one that brought out the best in me in a natural way. For my hair, I wanted something simple and cool and decided on a deconstructed braid.”

“We built an impressive magical garden with a massive wishing tree in the middle,” says Ana.

A mystical light installation captures the mood of the celebration.

The tablescapes were decadent and used colourful florals to ground them.

Flickering candles hang above tables overhung with lush foliage.

Ana’s emerald and diamond earrings were a gift from her grandmother. “My accessories were very simple. I wore a twin-set of a diamond and emerald bracelet and earrings produced by a jeweller friend in Portugal. For shoes I went for Jimmy Choo.”

The 260 guests dine and party into the night within the enchanted forest.

Ana in her second dress of the night.

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Image credits: Getty Images/Peter Lindberg/Marc Jacobs

Marc Jacobs has been busy. In the last two months, he has released a book (, with Grace Coddington, published by Phaidon, unveiled a new fashion line (The Marc Jacobs), and is now expanding into skincare, with only one product: Youthquake Hydra-Full Retexturizing Gel Crème. The moisturiser made its unofficial debut in style last month, on none other than the face of Lady Gaga at the Met Gala.

Jacobs (above) also got married in April, to his long-term boyfriend Char Defrancesco, in a fairy-tale fashion wedding in New York City. As he sits down with , he’s still got that newly-wed glow. “I love being married. I love saying ‘my husband’ or ‘my husband and I’, in that Queen Mother sort of way,” says Jacobs. “Married life has been great. It gives me a sense of security and helps me to define what commitment means for me, and that’s been a beautiful thing.”

The glow could have something to do with his latest venture, too, the brand’s first foray into skincare. After nearly four decades working in the fashion industry, and almost six years on from his makeup line launch, Jacobs’s approach to creating a new product remains the same: strict authenticity. “Skincare’s been in discussion for many years,” Jacobs explains. “In terms of planning out how we saw Marc Jacobs Beauty [evolving]… It was probably in the second meeting we had, we said that someday, we will include skincare.”

His hero product is a fruity, multi-tasking cream (above) that aims to rejuvenate skin – with enzymatic pineapple extract to stimulate cell renewal, antioxidant-rich starfruit and dragon fruit. “We talked about the spirit of what skincare for Marc Jacobs would mean – that I wasn’t a dermatologist and this wasn’t a science lab,” Jacobs says. “This is just me talking about things I understand, like the refreshing, hydrating qualities of coconut or pineapple!”

Starting with a single product is something of a signature move for Jacobs – whether in fashion or skincare, he’s always been one to foresee upcoming trends. Youthquake is a case in point: reflecting the wider mood in the beauty industry, which is starting to dial down excess, reduce multiple skincare steps and adopt a more simple, efficient and sustainable approach.

This month also sees the debut of Jacobs’s Enamored (With Pride) Lip Lacquer collection; designed to coincide with Pride month, with 10 per cent of the retail price of sales between June 6 to July 10 donated to Sage, an organisation that provides support to older LGBTQ+ people. 2019 marks the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots, widely considered to be the birth of the Pride movement and a watershed moment for LGBTQ+ rights. It’s a movement that Jacobs says inspires the real heart and soul of what he does: “Pride, it’s not fitting in – it’s belonging; that’s to quote Brené Brown. You accept me for who I am, how I am, what I am, who I love.”

This sense of freedom resonates in everything Jacobs touches, because for him there are no rules. “I wouldn’t want anyone making my aesthetic choices for me, or any of my choices for me. The rule is to express oneself and to do it for yourself, first and foremost. And enjoy it.”

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There’s something about twins. Since the dawn of time, we’ve held a universal fascination with twins both identical and fraternal, longing to know what it’s like to share one’s life so intimately with another brother or sister. From the womb, to their wardrobes, to navigating the world at large together, an air of intrigue and mystery pervades the lives of twins still today—so many questions spring to mind: do twins share the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same instincts, the same palettes?

Nowhere, except the realm of science perhaps, have twins captivated us as much as in the worlds of fashion and photography, where the likes of Ruth and May Bell, Amalie and Cecilie Moosgaard and Lia and Odette Pavlova have taken the industry by storm, featuring side by side in campaigns and runway shows for Chanel, Dior and Burberry.

Now, to launch his new eponymous label The Marc Jacobs, American designer Marc Jacobs has cast eight sets of twins in the debut campaign, lensed by photographer Hugo Scott, to model his new wares. A mix of archival inspirations and a re-imagination of past garments that work for today too, the line is intended to sit separately to the runway collection, with each item wearable for the everyday.

Scouring the fresh faces from around the globe—all the way from the Netherlands to Korea—the campaign images are bold and playful, dispelling the age-old fear of showing up to an event in the same outfit and speaking instead to a sense that our personal styles shouldn’t be taken so seriously; our love of clothing should be shared. Catapulting these breakout models to fashion fame, Vogue chatted with some of the stars on the experience of working with Marc Jacobs, what it’s like to model in twos and their twinning style.

Image credit: Instagram.com/marcjacobs

Abril and Lourdes Ruhstaller

How would you describe the campaign in three words?

Lourdes: “Unique, explosive, disruptive.”

April: “Retro, glamorous, attractive.”

Why do you think we are so fascinated by twins?

Lourdes: “We realise people are attracted to twins because I think they have a lot of questions about whether it’s true that we think and feel the same way. We are often stopped on the streets or hear comments when we walk by. It’s probably funny seeing two people who look exactly alike. We’re used to it and laugh when people ask us questions or stare.”

What was it like to work on The Marc Jacobs campaign?

Abril: “The experience was absolutely amazing; the organisation of the team, each person doing different things, every detail, every moment is taken into account. We were treated so nicely, everyone took great care of us. We had so much fun. It was an incredible experience we will never forget!”

In what ways does fashion relate to twins?

Lourdes: “Fashion could be considered in some ways as a way of sharing likes and trends, and I definitely believe that fashion creates bonds between people who like to wear the same designers and styles.”

When it comes to your personal style, do you like twinning?

Abril: “We have the same style and shop together because we share our clothes. Sometimes we are almost dressed exactly the same!”

Image credit: instagram.com/marcjacobs

Meerle and Sterre Haket, 17, The Hague

What was it like to work on The Marc Jacobs campaign?

Meerle: “The experience was really nice and we undoubtedly learned a lot from being there and being surrounded by so many great people who believe in the models and in the campaign itself. We got to work with artists that have a lot of experience in the fashion field and it was an amazing opportunity for the both of us.”

What does it mean to be cast in the campaign together?

Sterre: “I think it’s awesome that we did our first big campaign together. It’s a really cool idea to cast twins together; I had a lot of fun.”

Why do you think we are so fascinated by twins?

Meerle: “Twins are so intriguing for fashion and other media because twins can look so very alike and so different at the same time that people like to play a game of ‘spot the difference’ when they look at them. It’s like holding up a mirror [to yourself] that has a reflection that is slightly different from the person looking in it. I think that fascination makes it so interesting to photograph twins.”

Sterre: “Twins are everywhere around the world and in history. I think people who aren’t twins will always keep wondering what it’s like to be a twin, what kind of bond there really is between twins. Seeing people that look so much alike next to each other makes people curious.”

Is your style influenced by each other?

Meerle: “Our personal styles are very much inspired by each other as we like the same things and we sometimes argue about who gets to buy and wear what. We don’t share our clothes anymore but [our styles are] very much shaped by each other, although we can also be quite different.”

Sterre: “We have always had a similar style of clothes. When we were younger our parents used to dress us in the same outfits, just in different colours. We still do that sometimes, but now I do try to differentiate my style and make my outfits more personal.”

How do you think the idea of twins plays into fashion?

Meerle: “Fashion plays a role in portraying relationships in general and that includes twins. Photos and other forms of media show bonds between people and maybe even how they are formed. Twin shoots mostly show the positive sides of being a twin, and of course I think that is important. But it is also a complex relationship just as many bonds are.”

Sterre: “Fashion can express a common share in creativity and style. My sister and I have done a lot of shoots together, and the photos show part of the special bond between us as twins. I also think that working together has improved our relationship as sisters.”

Image credit: instagram.com/marcjacobs

Erin and Alyssa Hengesbach, 28, Michigan

How did you come to be cast in the campaign?

Erin: “Hugo Scott had taken a photo of us at the Twins Days Festival a few years ago and that is how they found us. Everybody that worked on the campaign really liked the photo and wanted us to be a part of it. The stylist, Lotta Volkova, got in contact with us the day before the shoot and asked if we could come to New York [the next day].”

What does it mean to be cast in the campaign together?

Alyssa: “It means more than any other person can ever know… We know how each other is feeling pretty much at all times, and having a person there who completely understands me is a luxury most people do not have. Being in all of the images together is a normal feeling since we are always together. Having the memories and the shared experiences is something that we will always get to look back on, and probably appreciate more and more throughout life.”

Erin: “It means everything to be cast in the campaign with my twin sister. She is my built-in best friend since birth and we like to do things together. I do not think that I could have done the photo shoot without her.”

Why do you think we are so fascinated by twins?

Erin: “There is an unbreakable bond that twins have, and most people can see that just by looking at us for a few minutes… It is a universal fact that twins are special. No matter what language someone speaks or country someone comes from, every person can understand and see the love that twins have for each other.”

How do you think the idea of twins plays into fashion?

Alyssa: “Twins make imagery so captivating to look at because they create such a unique picture that cannot be duplicated by anyone else. Having twins in an image just draws people in. Having two identical people standing or sitting with each other brings some kind of allure to the pictures because the physical features are the same, and the clothes or accessories seem to stand out more than they would on just one individual person.”

Do you dress the same or try to differentiate your personal styles?

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Erin: “We both have the same personal style and do everything the same as far as clothes, hair and accessories. We do not wear the same clothes on the same day or anything, but our styles are the same. I have never felt the need to have a true individual style because I love that I am a twin, so an individual style has never been important.”

Alyssa: “The colours we wear are what separate us more than anything else. I like certain colours and Erin has her favourite colours, and that is the way it has been since we were old enough to dress ourselves. Accessories also differentiate our styles with different bracelets or watches, which is actually how most people learn to tell us apart to begin with.”

Image credit: instagram.com/marcjacobs

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7th Jun 2019

Giorgio Armani has chosen British supermodel and style icon Kate Moss to front its autumn/winter ‘19/’20 campaign. This is Moss’s first time representing the brand, and with its new collection, Giorgio Armani seeks to combine the model’s bold, bohemian spirit with its own signature clean-cut minimalism. The campaign’s photographers, Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott, have shot Moss in both energetic colour and timeless black-and-white. The images of Moss, dressed in midnight blue and sporting a choppy fringe, ooze the cool luxury that has become synonymous with the brand’s name. In a first for Giorgio Armani, it’s menswear collection was also debuted alongside its womenswear, with models Daisuke Ueda and Thijs Steeneberg taking on the role of Moss’s male counterparts. [Vogue inbox]

If you’ve booked a trip to Europe in order to escape from the cold reaches of the Australian winter, you’ll be delighted to know that online retailer The Outnet has brought back its Vacation Shop, a digital edit that functions as a packing guide. Blogger Aimee Song from Song of Style has put together a collection of essentials that you’ll want to take with you on your next overseas vacation. Her curated edit includes a Zimmermann lace-panelled one-piece, a blue Camilla maxi dress and tortoiseshell Gucci frames. Watch this space as you can expect further additions to the edit in July and August. [Vogue inbox]

British pop star Dua Lipa has been announced as the new face of YSL Beauté’s upcoming women’s perfume. In talking about his vision for the brand’s fragrance, YSL Beauté’s international general manager Stephen Bezy said he believed the singer embodied “the values of independence and freedom, which have always been part of Yves Saint Laurent’s DNA.” Lipa herself affirmed that she hoped to encourage strength and confidence through the fragrance, values that no doubt drive the impressive achievements she has already made in her career at the age of 23. [WWD]

Luxury online retailer MatchesFashion.com is launching an interactive installation at the historical townhouse 5 Carlos Place in London to celebrate Paco Rabanne’s pre-fall 2019 collection, and the release of their iconic 1969 anniversary chainmail bag. The bag, first created by the eponymous designer 50 years ago, has been seen on the arms of fashion It girls like Emily Ratajkowski and Kate Moss, and reinvigorates Rabanne’s famous interlocking chainmail surface in a variety of shapes and shades of gold, silver and bronze. This June, six exclusive versions of the bag will be available for purchase via MatchesFashion.com, and the installation itself will be open to the public for viewing from June 5 to June 26. [ inbox]

London art school Central Saint Martins has launched a fashion program teaching the basics of biodesign, which aims to promote the use of sustainable bio-materials. Fashion, which is widely considered one of the most environmentally-damaging industries on the planet, is slowly coming to terms with its wastefulness. As such, the school’s newest program promotes less labour-intensive technologies like 3D printing, as well as courses that examine the environmental impacts of fashion. []

If New York is, as the poet claims, a state of mind, San Francisco is the opposite: a precise afternoon in fall, a moment always on the verge of passing. In the postcard sense, it is the country’s most lastingly beautiful city. By other measures, though, it is—and always has been—a place of heedless, often ugly flux. San Francisco has no permanent Establishment, and the landscape is remolded regularly by whoever holds the dough. The city’s long-term residents, in turn, become adept at moving among world views as if entering and exiting friends’ homes. I sometimes think that this code-switching flexibility is most pronounced for those of us who were born in the eighties and the nineties, an odd interregnum between the counterculture and the new regime. Selfhood, for those of us who grew up in the city at that time, meant building private continuity across a landscape that could change its guiding stars from here to here.

“The Last Black Man in San Francisco,” directed by Joe Talbot and starring Jimmie Fails, is about being that kind of San Franciscan, and the film is so organic that the sensibility is built into its plot. Fails, playing a version of himself (I’ll call his on-screen character Jimmie), is, in the film, a young black man trying to build his adult life. He spent most of his youth out of the custody of his parents; now he’s crashing with his best friend, Mont (Jonathan Majors), who lives with his grandfather (Danny Glover) in a house near the historically low-income neighborhood of Bayview-Hunters Point. During daylight hours, the two friends traverse the city. Mont is gentle and peculiar, a poor young man who wears bow ties and dreams of being a playwright. Jimmie is easygoing, adaptive, and filled with ambition to prove his worth. Together, they make pilgrimages to a particular Victorian-style house in the Fillmore—tall and proud, with gardens and a big turret. The property is irresistible to Jimmie, who sneaks through the gate, climbs a ladder, and surreptitiously begins repainting the railings and the house’s trim.

The house, we’re told, was built by Jimmie’s grandfather. It was a statement of arrival when the Fillmore was a center of black middle-class life. Later, the family lost the property—they don’t talk about it, Jimmie’s father (Rob Morgan) tells him—and it whooshed up the vertiginous shaft of the real-estate market, out of reach. Now Jimmie frets over his family’s lost castle, to the annoyance of the current residents, a white baby-boomer couple, who themselves could not afford to buy it off the open market. When the woman’s parent dies, the home has to be liquidated, and the boomers are evicted by the estate. Jimmie sees an opportunity. He goes imploringly to realtors and mortgage brokers, with no luck. (The house costs in the millions; Jimmie lives hand-to-mouth.) In an effort to claim squatter’s rights, Jimmie moves into the house, with Mont, and spends weeks beautifying it, making it the home that he has always lacked.

“The Last Black Man in San Francisco” was funded in part by Kickstarter and was drawn from Fails’s own experience: he did grow up poor in the city, and his family did once live in such a house. In that sense, it’s a report on an African-American presence that truly is fading—the percentage of black residents in San Francisco is less than half what it was in 1970, and sits today around a measly six per cent—and it captures the experience of displacement, of travelling among spheres in which you have increasingly little say or stake and trying to blend in. At Sundance, the film won a directing award and a special-jury prize, and it captured viewers’ imaginations as a human window onto the city’s rocky transformation. Fails and Talbot have been friends since late childhood, when Fails was in a housing project and Talbot was living nearby, and they made the movie while living in Talbot’s parents’ home. Their film is frank not only in its portrait of the real-estate pressures that make San Francisco a shorthand for self-stifling unaffordability but in its reports on the habits and moods of the place. From the platinum-hued outdoor light to the rollicking skateboard rides across town, “The Last Black Man in San Francisco” feels of San Francisco, and its characters are vivid with the offbeat pursuits that give the city’s residents their bizarre glow. In the world of the film, as in real life, everyone is bound by a common anxiety, and the movie gently suggests that many middle-class San Franciscans can see aspects of their own displacement panic in the black experience of Jimmie Fails. The fear is not just that you’ll lose your place in town but that the place will lose all memory of you.

The film—the first for both Fails and Talbot—is not without moments of youthful heavy-handedness. But it is cinematically witty from the opening shot, which plays on the apocalyptic title, and the creators are sharp enough to see that Jimmie and Mont, the home preservationist and the writer, are engaged in the same project: trying to capture and inhabit worlds being lost. The screenplay is trustworthy on matters of class and race, in part because it treats both through a range of real experience. For a story tangled up with housing, it is slightly fuzzy on the nature of the Bay Area problem—but, to be fair, the causes of, and solutions to, this messy, large-scale problem remain very much a matter of debate. Problems of displacement and effacement in the Bay Area continue to intensify. Just this week, the Mercury News reported that working people are being priced out of apartments in Vallejo, an outer-ring city that people used to be displaced into. The Guardian found that gun homicides in the Bay Area have plummeted as property crime has soared—a shift from the crime patterns of urban under-privilege to those of urban over-privilege.

Though “The Last Black Man in San Francisco” offers no solutions, the effort Fails and Talbot put into making such a movie stands as a reminder that, even now, feelings of regional urban belonging haven’t been lost. The film resists the way that it will be read by many people, which is as a scolding parable of marginalization and decline. It reminds us that the experience of in-betweenness, of trying to navigate extremely different worlds with different views while trying to find your place along the way, has always been a part of San Francisco life. And it reminds us that maybe there’s even joy, art, and—a concept being lost—local community to be found along the way. At one point, Jimmie hears two cool girls on the bus complaining, with the received pieties that people use, about what San Francisco has become. He corrects them. “You don’t get to hate it unless you love it,” he explains.

Loss being a defining attribute of love, the threat of losing memory is as much a part of the romance of San Francisco as the bridges and the seven hills. Histories grow urgent as their landscapes fade away. I grew up on a hill of moderate grade opposite a large, multigenerational black family: the matriarch was the rearer of grandchildren and the trusted keeper of the neighbors’ spare keys. The house to our right belonged to a child psychologist; the guy to the left operated a ravioli business by the freeway. Not far away was a Zen bakery, a corner store run by brothers from Palestine, and a gym frequented by the types then known as yuppies. Naturally, that center couldn’t hold. Those days were my first glowing San Francisco moment. Luckily—and let’s not underplay the role of luck—they weren’t my last.

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Conspiracy Theories for the Ultra-Rational

June 8, 2019 | News | No Comments

You are, in fact, being followed. Not just by one stranger but by hundreds. They watch you at all hours of the day, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. Not that you would—their likes and comments are far too precious.

Each night, a sinister, energy-depleting force is causing humanity to slip into a hallucinogenic blackout accompanied by nonsensical horrors. Those who avoid succumbing to the blackout are plagued by crankiness.

A conniving, topless mermaid is exploiting this energy-depleting force by hooking us on her invigorating bean water. Despite knowing this fact, we gleefully drink her addictive liquid deception, because without it we are little more than dysfunctional meat sacks.

Hollywood fat cats are getting richer and richer each year by recycling old ideas into redundant film experiences called “sequels.” These fat cats spend millions on slick marketing to brainwash you into believing that these sequels will be anything other than a complete disaster.

The joy of guiltless outdoor strolling has been stolen from us and distributed to a group of élite superhumans who possess something called “downtime.”

Our children are being locked in small, overcrowded rooms for several hours each day, forced to solve complicated word problems of no practical value. They are then released into a world where being good at complicated word problems makes you kind of a dork.

The government is taking a significant portion of every dollar we earn and using it to pay interest on its own loans, to purchase exotic weapons of war, and to employ an unseen army of manual laborers who steal our trash in the predawn hours and transport it to massive, stinking garbage mountains that are hidden from public view.

An enormous, fiery sky-orb of shame humiliates us daily by illuminating our physical flaws. Right when this glowing orb goes away and we start to look good again, the hallucinogenic blackout returns.

Humanity is living inside a simulation known as “The Gram.” Some people are taking advantage of the simulation to propel themselves into positions of social and economic power. They call themselves “influencers” and are worshipped by the masses for their wisdom, humility, and ability to demonstrate the virtues of yoga pants.

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Five hundred years ago, an Italian Pope brainwashed the world by dividing time itself into a series of endlessly repeating blocks wherein we are forced to work, take short, uninspiring “vacations,” and purchase gifts for people we dislike. Those who resist this system are committed to an asylum, or, worse, hectored by their parents to get a real job.

A conglomerate of Swedish billionaires is amassing untold riches by selling cheap, unassembled particleboard to millions of gullible morons who want a nicer home. The unquestioning sheep who buy these wood piles are placated and fattened with “meatballs” sold by the very same cabal of Nordic robber barons.

Humans are being systematically wed to one another based on their looks, verbal abilities, and skill at remembering birthdays, a process that scientists have euphemistically labelled “natural selection.” In recent years, cosmetics companies, fad-diet publishing empires, and the Dr. Phil Corporation have profited immensely from telling us that we can wield some agency in this “natural selection” by improving ourselves. These promises have been complete lies.

Coca-Cola executives don’t actually care about your happiness; they’re just trying to sell Coke.

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7th Jun 2019

I get pregnant but don’t stay pregnant. I have a genetic disorder, which means my embryos are structurally unstable. I’m more likely to miscarry, but if I did birth a child they would not live past the age of six. I was completely devastated when I learned this. So removing my DNA from the equation was the obvious next step.

I had always planned on adopting. But as we started to explore our options, we realised it was easier to be active and pick an egg donor than passive and wait to be picked by a birth mother. And also, I am a stubborn motherfucker and I needed to finish what I started (pregnancy).

All of my embryos were created at the same time, during the very same egg cycle back in 2014, using my husband’s sperm. When it came to choosing an egg donor, I wanted someone who looked like she could be in my family. Basically someone tall, I’m 6ft 1in, with an angular face and wavy hair. I also wanted someone I could relate to, someone who we could hang out with and have a good time with. I’ve always told my eldest daughter how she was conceived and will tell the twins when they’re older. The donor and I haven’t stayed in touch, but if my daughters or son want to get in touch with her, then we will.

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The pregnancy felt no different with donor eggs, but this time I was more attached to the outcome. If you’ve had a miscarriage, you’re robbed of the innocence of the pregnancy. You see pink lines and you’re thinking, “I’m pregnant ”. But this time, I trusted my body with donor eggs – it’s good at being pregnant once it gets there.

It’s interesting to talk to other people about their path to motherhood. If you have struggled, you feel like you can’t complain. Sometimes I don’t feel like I can say, “I’m so goddamn tired,” because this is what I wanted. But just like everyone else, we infertile parents are entitled to have these feelings. You just have to know your audience (I would never complain to people trying to conceive).

The whole nature versus nurture thing just makes my motherhood more interesting. I think about it quite a lot. I joined Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED, disclaimer, I sit on the board), which is a great resource for support and information. One of the things PVED points out on its site is, if you transfer pony embryos into a horse, the resulting foals will be larger than regular ponies.

My daughter is in the 90th centile for height. So it’s like my bigger body has influenced what my uterine environment has created for her. Her mannerisms and interests are so similar to mine. The one thing that is different though is that I can’t see my side of the family physically represented in my children at all. There just isn’t a resemblance, that thread isn’t there.

I’ve always felt so positive about our choice, so it’s been easy to communicate that when explaining how my family came to be. You can hear a smile in someone’s voice, can’t you? If I stood in the corner, stammering out, “Unfortunately we had to use an egg donor,” that’s so different to me smiling and explaining, “We had this problem and we resolved it with this amazing woman who is a mother and stepped forward to help us.”

If you’re partnering with a surrogate, you can’t hide where your baby came from: if you’re two gay men, there are going to be questions; two mothers, the questions are equally invasive.

Egg donation tends to be more secretive because the assumption is that the pregnant woman is the mother and her eggs have been used. The huge change I’ve seen over the last four years is that more and more people are doing it and starting to talk openly about it. I’m happy to be part of this new attitude of openness.

There is no industry-wide standard in egg donation. There’s no regulation. But our clinic required our donor to have a  genetic counselling screening, which we got a copy of, and all three of us to have a psychological evaluation. The psych screening isn’t about determining whether you’re fit to be a parent, it’s to make sure everyone has thought it all through. It’s important we found someone who is pragmatic, who has no emotional attachment to her gametes, and intended parents are encouraged to be open with their children about how they were conceived.

We were matched on 1 January, 2012, and I then started taking the contraceptive pill to enable my cycle to be synced with the donor’s. We transferred the female embryo that became my oldest daughter and another one that would have been her twin brother. The transfer was a year to the day that I learned my first spontaneous pregnancy had ended. Exactly four years later, on the same day, we transferred two more embryos which became our twins.

In my long journey to motherhood, the worst day was when I found out my AMH (anti-Müllerian hormone, which determines how many eggs you have in your reserve, and reflects your likelihood of having children) was so low that I was like a menopausal woman. This coincided withsix months’ of reconciling since the miscarriage, only to be told I’m infertile after all that. That was the worst day.

But if I hadn’t been referred to my RE (reproductive endocrinologist) to discover my AMH level was so low, to get me to do that genetic testing, I wouldn’t have known any of this. It was serendipitous really.  Getting a genetic diagnosis made choosing egg donation much, much easier.

After PGS (preimplantation genetic screening), we had 10 embryos. We transferred two which resulted in our daughter, and froze the rest. When we came to try for a sibling, we had five failed cycles. I guess my uterus was so traumatised after my daughter’s birth (I had haemorrhaged). I thought I can’t do this much more. We decided to transfer two more and see. We wanted to transfer a boy and a girl, because that’s what we did with our daughter, therefore not choosing the sex.

I have this theory that some women only get pregnant at certain times of the year. All my pregnancies started in January/February – for me that’s my sweet spot. A few days after the transfer, I just knew it was twins. I was sitting with my husband and I looked at a big sub sandwich and told him how hungry I was, I was never hungry in the mornings. I told him I the sandwich. It was the greatest sandwich of my life. He asked me, “Do you think you’re pregnant?” And I just knew.

Medellin Cartel plane wreck, Norman’s Cay, Exuma Islands, Bahamas. Instagram.com/luxuryyachtfilms

The appetite for true crime stories is insatiable. People just can’t get enough of TV shows, films, podcasts and books about the darker edges of what humans are capable of – it’s an entire genre unto itself. So it makes sense to expand the empire and bring travel experiences into the mix. Many of the world’s glossiest global cities have fascinating criminal pasts and enterprising tour operators are popping up everywhere, offering to take guests on trips down the shady side of memory lane.

Bolstered by the success of the Netflix series Narcos, Pablo Escobar-themed tourism has gained a stronghold in his hometown of Medellín, Columbia (pictured below) and images of his cartel’s plane wreckage in the Bahamas (pictured above) were splashed liberally throughout promotional material for Fyre Festival – a now-notorious scam in which extortionately priced tickets were sold to a luxury music festival that never really happened. Charter plane companies can fly you to this remote spot to snorkel in the ruins of the drug-running aircraft.

But perhaps American gangsters are more your style? European murderers? Corrupt cops? The following places don’t shy away from the darkness in their history, offering tours of former crime scenes and underworld haunts.

Image credit: Instagram.com/metrodemedellin

Medellín, Columbia
During Pablo Escobar’s heyday, Medellín was considered one of the most dangerous cities in the world – violence frequently erupted between warring drug cartels, harming innocent people in the cross fire. Today it is much safer, though DFAT advises Australians to be cautious travelling in Colombia generally. Numerous Escobar-themed tours are available; Medellin City Services offer one with a bilingual former police officer who was part of the team that pursued the drug kingpin.

Image credit: Instagram.com/v_as_victor

Chicago, USA
While modern Chicago is full of iconic architecture and high-end restaurants, during the 1920s it was a hotbed of organised crime and home to one of the 20th century’s most notorious gangsters, Al Capone. Companies like Gangster Tour can take you through the Prohibition-era hangouts of such mobsters and bootleggers. Chicago was also home to H. H. Holmes, a serial killer who built a hotel with harrowing features to murder his guests. Leonardo DiCaprio and longtime collaborator Martin Scorsese are currently attached to a Hulu series currently in development, which is based on the Erik Larson novel The Devil in the White City. Weird Chicago operates a specific Devil in the White City tour.

Image credit: Instagram.com/silverqsy

New York, USA
From the 1840s until the 1920s the notorious gangs of New York operated in Manhattan between Chinatown and Little Italy. NYC Gangster Tours can talk you through the trouble that went down between the mob, mafia, Cosa Nostra and more. If you prefer your felonies a little more modern, fans of hit TV series The Sopranos can visit filming locations with On Location Tours, where the guides are extras who appeared on the show.

Image credit: Instagram.com/jhs.brgr

London, UK
Jack the Ripper murdered five women in London in 1888 and got away with it – he has never been identified. Walk the cobbled Victorian alleyways where his victims’ bodies were found, guided by crime authors with encyclopedic knowledge of the scenes.

Image credit: Instagram.com/kings_sicilia

Sicily, Italy
Fans of The Godfather films have long flocked to Sicily to see locations where the mafia movie was made, but some tour operators take it further – like Sicily Activities, who throw in true crime tales from the island, and Overseas Adventure Travel, who have offered guests a sit-down chat with the son of violent mafia boss, Bernardo Provenzano.

Image credit: Instagram.com/losangeles

Los Angeles, USA
There’s plenty of choice when it comes to true crime tours in LA, but if you want to go beyond seedy and into macabre, book The Real Black Dahlia with Esotouric. Described as “lurid, fascinating and insightful” by Lonely Planet, you’ll be taken through the gruesome unsolved murder of an aspiring actress in the ’40s.

Image credit: Instagram.com/bigfootdownunder

Melbourne, Australia
After World War I the Fitzroy Vendetta gang war raged on the streets of Victoria’s capital. Melbourne Historical Crime Tours can talk you through the criminal characters involved – guides use hand-held lasers to project images of underworld figures onto the buildings they once lived in.

Image credit: Instagram.com/monartist1

Shanghai, China
Now a glittering financial and shipping hub, Shanghai has come a long way since the Opium Wars of the 1800s – but with a bit of research, the city’s shady side can still be revealed. Newman Tours can show you where the richest opium dealers lived and explain why a certain criminal mastermind believed severed monkey heads were the secret to his success.

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